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Because the inability to experience regret is actually one of the diagnostic characteristics of sociopaths. | چون عدم توانایی در تجربه کردن پشیمانی، در حقیقت یکی از خصوصیات تشخیصی اختلالات شخصیتی ضد اجتماعی است. چون عدم توانایی در تجربه کردن پشیمانی، در حقیقت یکی از خصوصیات تشخیصی اختلالات شخصیتی ضد اجتماعی است. چون عدم توانایی در تجربه کردن پشیمانی، در حقیقت یکی از خصوصیات تشخیصی اختلالات شخصیتی ضد اجتماعی است. | en-fa |
It's also, by the way, a characteristic of certain kinds of brain damage. | ainsi que de gens souffrant de certaines formes de dommages cérébraux. | en-fr-ca |
So people who have damage to their orbital frontal cortex seem to be unable to feel regret in the face of even obviously very poor decisions. | Lidé, kteří mají poškozený svou orbitofrontální mozkovou kůru, se zdají být neschopni pociťovat lítost tváří v tvář i očividně velmi špatným rozhodnutím. | en-cs |
So if, in fact, you want to live a life free of regret, there is an option open to you. | だからもし、本当に後悔の無い人生を送りたいのなら、 そのような選択肢もあります。 | en-ja |
It's called a lobotomy. | ואפשרות זו היא ניתוח לכריתת האונה. | en-he |
But if you want to be fully functional and fully human and fully humane, I think you need to learn to live, not without regret, but with it. | ただ、もしも十分に脳が機能する状態で 十分に人間らしく 人道的でありたいなら、 後悔しないのではなく、後悔とともに生きることを学ぶ必要があります。 | en-ja |
So let's start off by defining some terms. | Öyleyse bazı tanımlar vererek başlayalım. | en-tr |
What is regret? | 那麼什麽是後悔? | en-zh-tw |
Regret is the emotion we experience when we think that our present situation could be better or happier if we had done something different in the past. | Le regret, c'est l'émotion que nous ressentons quand nous croyons que notre situation actuelle pourrait être meilleure si nous avions agi différemment dans le passé. | en-fr-ca |
So in other words, regret requires two things. | Donc, en d'autres termes, le regret nécessite deux choses. | en-fr |
It requires, first of all, agency -- we had to make a decision in the first place. | まず第一に、対象が必要です -- なんらかの決断をしていること。 | en-ja |
And second of all, it requires imagination. | Em segundo lugar, requer imaginação. | en-pt-br |
We need to be able to imagine going back and making a different choice, and then we need to be able to kind of spool this imaginary record forward and imagine how things would be playing out in our present. | Mums jāspēj iztēloties atgriešanos pagātnē un citādu izvēli, un tad jāspēj šo iztēles ierakstu patīt tālāk un iztēloties, kā situācija būtu izvērtusies tagad. | en-lv |
And in fact, the more we have of either of these things -- the more agency and the more imagination with respect to a given regret, the more acute that regret will be. | 这两样我们有的越多－ 在一个遗憾上 有更多的对象和想像 这种后悔就越强烈 | en-zh-cn |
So let's say for instance that you're on your way to your best friend's wedding and you're trying to get to the airport and you're stuck in terrible traffic, and you finally arrive at your gate and you've missed your flight. | Supposons, par exemple, que vous vous rendiez au mariage de votre meilleur ami mais qu'en chemin vers l'aéroport, vous vous retrouviez coincé dans un bouchon et que vous manquiez votre avion. | en-fr-ca |
You're going to experience more regret in that situation if you missed your flight by three minutes than if you missed it by 20. | Ви відчуєте ще більший жаль в тій ситуації, якщо спізнитесь на три хвилини, аніж коли на 20. | en-uk |
Well because, if you miss your flight by three minutes, it is painfully easy to imagine that you could have made different decisions that would have led to a better outcome. | Ei bine, dacă aţi fi pierdut zborul cu 3 minute, este dureros de uşor de imaginat că aţi fi putut lua decizii diferite care ar fi dus la alt rezultat. | en-ro |
"I should have taken the bridge and not the tunnel. | "ฉันน่าจะมาทางสะพาน ไม่ควรใช้อุโมงค์ | en-th |
I should have gone through that yellow light." | 아까 그 노란불에 그냥 지나갈 걸" | en-ko |
These are the classic conditions that create regret. | Toto jsou klasické podmínky, které vytváří lítost. | en-cs |
We feel regret when we think we are responsible for a decision that came out badly, but almost came out well. | Kita merasa menyesal saat kita berpikir bahwa kita bertanggung jawab akan keputusan yang ternyata berakibat buruk namun hampir berakibat baik. | en-id |
Now within that framework, we can obviously experience regret about a lot of different things. | W tych ramach możemy oczywiście żałować najrozmaitszych rzeczy. | en-pl |
This session today is about behavioral economics. | Mai témánk a viselkedési gazdaságtan. | en-hu |
And most of what we know about regret comes to us out of that domain. | un lielākā daļa no tā, ko mēs zinām par nožēlu, nāk no šīs jomas. | en-lv |
We have a vast body of literature on consumer and financial decisions and the regrets associated with them -- buyer's remorse, basically. | Vi har en enorm mængde litteratur om forbruger og økonomiske beslutninger og fortrydelserne der er associerede med dem -- i bund og grund en slags fortrydelse efter købet. | en-da |
But then finally, it occurred to some researchers to step back and say, well okay, but overall, what do we regret most in life? | Mas finalmente, alguns investigadores lembraram-se de recuar e dizer: "Ok, mas em geral, do que é que nos arrependemos mais na vida? | en-pt |
Here's what the answers turn out to look like. | Bunun cevabı şu şekilde ortaya çıkıyor. | en-tr |
So top six regrets -- the things we regret most in life: Number one by far, education. | 6 najčešćih žaljenja -- stvari zbog kojih najviše žalimo i životu: Uvjerljivo je na prvom mjestu obrazovanje. | en-hr |
33 percent of all of our regrets pertain to decisions we made about education. | 33 pour cent de tous nos regrets ont trait à nos décisions concernant l'éducation. | en-fr |
We wish we'd gotten more of it. | Vorremmo avere imparato di più. | en-it |
We wish we'd taken better advantage of the education that we did have. | Волели бисмо да је оно које имамо боље искоришћено. | en-sr |
We wish we'd chosen to study a different topic. | Želimo da smo studirali nešto drugo. | en-hr |
Others very high on our list of regrets include career, romance, parenting, various decisions and choices about our sense of self and how we spend our leisure time -- or actually more specifically, how we fail to spend our leisure time. | والأمور الأخرى التي تتصدر القائمة فيما يخص الندم منها التخصص الوظيفي والعلاقات العاطفية والأبوة والأمومة، عدة قرارات وخيارات متعلقة بإحساسنا بأنفسنا ومواقفنا وكيف نقضي وقت فراغنا وهواياتنا .. بعبارة أوضح وأدق، كيف نفشل في قضاء وقت فراغنا. | en-ar |
The remaining regrets pertain to these things: finance, family issues unrelated to romance or parenting, health, friends, spirituality and community. | I restanti rimpianti o rimorsi riguardano queste cose: soldi, problemi di famiglia non legati all'amore e alla cura parentale, salute, amici, spiritualità e comunità. | en-it |
So in other words, we know most of what we know about regret by the study of finance. | אז במילים אחרות, את רוב הדברים הנוגעים בחרטה אנו יודעים דרך חקר בתחום הכלכלה. | en-he |
But it turns out, when you look overall at what people regret in life, you know what, our financial decisions don't even rank. | Por duket që kur ju analizoni gjërat për të cilat njerëzit pendohen, vendimet tona financiare nuk janë në krye të listës. | en-sq |
They account for less than three percent of our total regrets. | One obejmują mniej niż 3 procent wszystkich naszych żalów. | en-pl |
So if you're sitting there stressing about large cap versus small cap, or company A versus company B, or should you buy the Subaru or the Prius, you know what, let it go. | Jadi jika Anda duduk dan mengalami stres tentang taruhan besar atau kecil, perusahaan A atau B, atau apa Anda harus membeli Subaru atau Prius, Anda tahu, biarkan saja. | en-id |
Odds are, you're not going to care in five years. | إحتمالات الأمر، هى أنكم لن تهتموا لهذا القرار خلال خمس سنوات من إتخاذه. | en-ar |
But for these things that we actually do really care about and do experience profound regret around, what does that experience feel like? | Mas para aquelas coisas com as quais verdadeiramente nos importamos e sobre as quais experimentamos profundo arrependimento, como essa vivência nos faz sentir? | en-pt-br |
We all know the short answer. | Kort gezegd weten we het allemaal. | en-nl |
It feels terrible. Regret feels awful. | Szörnyű érzés. A bánkódás kegyetlen érzés. | en-hu |
But it turns out that regret feels awful in four very specific and consistent ways. | 後悔が最悪の気分になるのには 普遍的な4つの要素があります。 | en-ja |
So the first consistent component of regret is basically denial. | Więc pierwszym stałym elementem żalu jest w zasadzie zaprzeczenie. | en-pl |
When I went home that night after getting my tattoo, I basically stayed up all night. | Kur u ktheva në shtëpi atë natë, pasi a kisha vizatuar tatuazhin unë nuk fjeta gjithë natën. | en-sq |
And for the first several hours, there was exactly one thought in my head. | Y durante las primeras horas, tuve exactamente un pensamiento en la cabeza | en-es |
And the thought was, "Make it go away!" | Я думала: "Сделай так, чтобы ее не стало!" | en-ru |
This is an unbelievably primitive emotional response. | Ово је невероватно примитиван емоционални одговор. | en-sr |
I mean, it's right up there with, "I want my mommy!" | Я имею в виду, что это на одном уровне с "Я хочу к маме!" | en-ru |
We're not trying to solve the problem. | Chúng ta không cố gắng giải quyết vấn đề. | en-vi |
We're not trying to understand how the problem came about. | Мы не пытаемся понять, как проблема появилась. | en-ru |
We just want it to vanish. | Ne dëshirojmë që problemi të zhduket. | en-sq |
The second characteristic component of regret is a sense of bewilderment. | Втората характеристика на съжалението е чувството на недоумение. | en-bg |
So the other thing I thought about there in my bedroom that night was, "How could I have done that? | Друга ствар о којој сам те ноћи у соби размишљала била је "Како сам могла то да урадим? | en-sr |
What was I thinking?" | O que eu estava pensando?" | en-pt-br |
This real sense of alienation from the part of us that made a decision we regret. | Este sentido real de alienação da parte de nós que tomou a decisão de que nos arrependemos. | en-pt |
We can't identify with that part. | Ne nuk mund të identifikohemi me këtë pjesë tonën. | en-sq |
We don't understand that part. | Не я разбираме. | en-bg |
And we certainly don't have any empathy for that part -- which explains the third consistent component of regret, which is an intense desire to punish ourselves. | Dhe, sigurisht, nuk kemi mirëkuptim për këtë pjesë ndjenjë e cila e shpjegon përbërësin e tretë të pendimit, që është një dëshirë e fortë për të ndëshkuar veten. | en-sq |
That's why, in the face of our regret, the thing we consistently say is, "I could have kicked myself." | Derfor, i lyset af vores fortrydelse, er den ting vi bliver ved med at gentage er, "Jeg kunne have sparket mig selv." | en-da |
The fourth component here is that regret is what psychologists call perseverative. | La quarta componente del rimorso è quello che gli psicologi chiamano perseveranza. | en-it |
To perseverate means to focus obsessively and repeatedly on the exact same thing. | חזרתיות זה כשמתמקדים בכפייתיות ובאופן חוזר באותו הדבר. | en-he |
Now the effect of perseveration is to basically take these first three components of regret and put them on an infinite loop. | Efektem perseweracji jest to, że zbieramy te trzy pierwsze elementy i zapętlamy je w nieskończoność. | en-pl |
So it's not that I sat there in my bedroom that night, thinking, "Make it go away." | بنابراین اونطور نبود که من اونشب تو اتاقم بشینم و فکر کنم، " کاری کن بره گم شه! " بنابراین اونطور نبود که من اونشب تو اتاقم بشینم و فکر کنم، " کاری کن بره گم شه! " | en-fa |
It's that I sat there and I thought, "Make it go away. Make it go away. | بل أنه يعني أننى جلست هناك وقلت، " أزيليه، أزيليه. | en-ar |
Make it go away. Make it go away." | Kad ji išnyktų. Kad ji išnyktų.“ | en-lt |
So if you look at the psychological literature, these are the four consistent defining components of regret. | Тож коли ви проглянете психологічну літературу, там є чотири чітко визначені складові жалю. | en-uk |
But I want to suggest that there's also a fifth one. | Я предлагаю выделить пятый. | en-ru |
And I think of this as a kind of existential wake-up call. | Smatram to nekom vrstom egzistencijalnog poziva na uzbunu. | en-hr |
That night in my apartment, after I got done kicking myself and so forth, I lay in bed for a long time, and I thought about skin grafts. | În aceea noapte în apartament, după ce am terminat cu lamentarea, am rămas în pat mult timp, şi m-am gândit la grefe de piele. | en-ro |
And then I thought about how, much as travel insurance doesn't cover acts of God, probably my health insurance did not cover acts of idiocy. | A potom jsem myslela na to, jak stejně jako cestovní pojištění nepokrývá činy Boží, pravděpodobně mé zdravotní pojištění nepokrývá činy idiocie. | en-cs |
In point of fact, no insurance covers acts of idiocy. | Sterker nog, geen enkele verzekering dekt idioterie. | en-nl |
The whole point of acts of idiocy is that they leave you totally uninsured; they leave you exposed to the world and exposed to your own vulnerability and fallibility in face of, frankly, a fairly indifferent universe. | 所以得愚蠢的行為 他們一定都是完全無保的 它們讓你暴露在這個大世界中 暴露你的軟弱你的愚笨 坦白地說就是暴露這個相當冷漠的世界 | en-zh-tw |
This is obviously an incredibly painful experience. | Ovviamente questa è un'esperienza incredibilmente dolorosa. | en-it |
And I think it's particularly painful for us now in the West in the grips of what I sometimes think of as a Control-Z culture -- Control-Z like the computer command, undo. | 並且在現在這個被 Control-Z文化所包裹的世界中 這種經歷將更加痛心 Control-Z就是電腦指令 撤銷 | en-zh-tw |
We're incredibly used to not having to face life's hard realities, in a certain sense. | 어떤 의미에선 우리는 인생의 힘든 현실을 대면하지 않아도 되는 것에 놀라울 정도로 익숙해져 버렸습니다 | en-ko |
We think we can throw money at the problem or throw technology at the problem -- we can undo and unfriend and unfollow. | 我们以为用钱 或者科技就能解决问题－ 我们能撤消，能解除好友关系 取消关注 | en-zh-cn |
And the problem is that there are certain things that happen in life that we desperately want to change and we cannot. | E o problema é que há certas coisas que acontecem na vida que queremos desesperadamente mudar e não podemos. | en-pt-br |
Sometimes instead of Control-Z, we actually have zero control. | Algumas vezes, em lugar de Control Z na verdade temos controle zero. | en-pt-br |
And for those of us who are control freaks and perfectionists -- and I know where of I speak -- this is really hard, because we want to do everything ourselves and we want to do it right. | A dla tych z nas, którzy są maniakami kontroli i perfekcjonistami -- a wiem o czym mówię -- to jest bardzo trudne, bo wszystko byśmy chcieli zrobić sami i zrobić to dobrze. | en-pl |
Now there is a case to be made that control freaks and perfectionists should not get tattoos, and I'm going to return to that point in a few minutes. | 여기 독단주의자나 완벽주의자들은 문신하지 말아야 한다는 사례를 바로 만들 수도 있습니다 잠시 후에 그 사례에 대해 다시 말씀 드리겠습니다 | en-ko |
But first I want to say that the intensity and persistence with which we experience these emotional components of regret is obviously going to vary depending on the specific thing that we're feeling regretful about. | اما ابتدا می خوام بگم که ما این عناصر احساسی پشیمانی را تجربه می کنیم، ما این عناصر احساسی پشیمانی را تجربه می کنیم، اما شدت و تداوم آنها در چیزهای مختلفی که درموردشان پشیمانیم، فرق می کند. اما شدت و تداوم آنها در چیزهای مختلفی که درموردشان پشیمانیم، فرق می کند. | en-fa |
So for instance, here's one of my favorite automatic generators of regret in modern life. | No więc to jest, na przykład, jedno z moich ulubionych automatycznych źródeł żalu we współczesnym świecie. | en-pl |
(Laughter) Text: Relpy to all. | (ضحك) المسمى : الرد للجميع ! | en-ar |
And the amazing thing about this really insidious technological innovation is that even just with this one thing, we can experience a huge range of regret. | És a furcsa dolog az ebben az alattomos technológiai újításban az, hogy már ezzel az egy dologgal is hatalmas bánkódást élhetünk át. | en-hu |
You can accidentally hit "reply all" to an email and torpedo a relationship. | אתם יכולים להקיש בטעות על "השב לכולם" באימייל וכתוצאה להרוס מערכת יחסים. | en-he |
Or you can just have an incredibly embarrassing day at work. | その日だけ職場で気まずい思いをするかもしれませんし | en-ja |
Or you can have your last day at work. | Apo mund të keni ditën e fundit në punë. | en-sq |
And this doesn't even touch on the really profound regrets of a life. | E isso nem mesmo chega perto dos arrependimentos realmente profundos de uma vida. | en-pt-br |
Because of course, sometimes we do make decisions that have irrevocable and terrible consequences, either for our own or for other people's health and happiness and livelihoods, and in the very worst case scenario, even their lives. | Jer naravno, ponekad zaista donosimo odluke koje imaju nepovratne i strašne posljedice, bilo za naše ili tuđe zdravlje, sreću i sredstva za život, a u najgorem slučaju, čak i za tuđe živote. | en-hr |
Now obviously, those kinds of regrets are incredibly piercing and enduring. | Şimdi açıkçası, bu tür pişmanlıklar inanılmaz biçimde kuvvetli ve kalıcı oluyorlar. | en-tr |
I mean, even the stupid "reply all" regrets can leave us in a fit of excruciating agony for days. | Dua të them që edhe pendimit qe keni dërguar një "përgjigje të gjithëve" mund të na kushtoj disa ditë torturuese. | en-sq |
So how are we supposed to live with this? | Então como é que é suposto vivermos com isto? | en-pt |
I want to suggest that there's three things that help us to make our peace with regret. | ดิฉันอยากจะแนะว่ามีอยู่สามวิธี ที่ช่วยเราให้ทำใจให้สงบได้แม้จะมีความเสียใจอยู่ | en-th |
And the first of these is to take some comfort in its universality. | De eerste manier is het vinden van troost in universaliteit. | en-nl |
If you Google regret and tattoo, you will get 11.5 million hits. | Если вы наберете в Гугл сожаление и татуировка, вы получите 11,5 миллионов ответов. | en-ru |
(Laughter) The FDA estimates that of all the Americans who have tattoos, 17 percent of us regret getting them. | (Γέλια) Η FDA εκτιμά ότι από όλους τους Αμερικάνους που κάνουν τατουάζ, το 17 τοις εκατό από εμάς μετανιώνουμε που τα κάναμε. | en-el |
That is Johnny Depp and me and our seven million friends. | Это включает Джонни Деппа, меня, и семь миллионов наших друзей. | en-ru |
And that's just regret about tattoos. | Itu hanyalah penyesalan akan tato. | en-id |
We are all in this together. | Hepimiz işin içindeyiz. | en-tr |
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