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where i sort of throw crisps around and put a toilet seat on my head and wave an invisible dog about, and for a long time, i think he was, "i don't get, i don't understand this.
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i don't know where it comes from." and then he came to see it.
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i said, "are you enjoying it?" and he had this weird look that i'd never seen in him before. and he said,
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"i've never seen anything like this before." and that was lovely. and he came to see my first ever edinburgh show in 2012, it was a midnight show on the wrong side of town. barely anyone turned up, but he came along and met all the weirdos-
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afterwards, including matthew heighton, who does a lot of standup tragedy stuff. he's a great storyteller and comedian.
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and after the show, he'd seen me do this show at midnight. and then he went around to everybody-
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...my dad hugged me, that hasn't happened ever. and then matthew heighton said, "oh, i don't-
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want to make you feel bad." but he hugged me when he met me, which was-
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great, but i hug him now every now and again. so that was that one. my mum,
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by contrast, hasn't been to see any of my stuff in about two years. partly through-
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...the more you feel like you start to question which it is that you gravitate towards. like you start building families out of friends.
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i had a little family of girls that i was living with for a bit in my flat, tonya m. dog, little hen,
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lovely girls. they've all gone now to get on with their lives.
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one of thems moved to kensington to move in with her boyfriend, one of thems-
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just sick of me trying on her bras to see what i looked like. and i look rubbish, really rubbish.
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she pulls them off better than me, but so they've all gone. and then my grandma called me up earlier this year and i always have the same conversation with my grandma.
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she says, "oh, we're sorry that we don't see you very often, but we're happy that you're doing what you want." and i always go,
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"i'm sorry." and this year she got confused. cause she's very old and she-
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chose the wrong words. she said, "we're sorry that we don't see you very much-
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...really that i'm trying... this isn't a coherent story or all part of my show.
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it encouraged me to believe in what i did. she moved to vietnam and i was left with, you know, my mum had moved away.
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i didn't see my family much. my housemates were all going and i'm left just with the impulse to try and make sense of the fact that i want to do something silly for a living.
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there's this visitor and we ended up on this island called koh rong-
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samloem in cambodia in the middle of the night. and i was having a little cry because-
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its my holiday as well. and she said,
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"what's wrong?" and i said, "i've never told anybody this, but i wish i was a little ball of light instead of a body. cause i'll be able to get everything done and-
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never get sad. but the problem is existing." and she said,
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"what do you mean?" she said, "what's made you feel this way?" and i said, "no, you've missed the point. you've completely missed the point."
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and she said, "okay, what can we do to help you feel better?" i said, no, you've missed the point completely.
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i'm not talking about causes or resolutions.
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that's just how i feel now and i'm trying to express it.
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and the only thing i've ever tried to do i think is to try and find space in my head to imagine things in a way of clearing out the space in the middle of your head.
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that's all it is. she said, "i total understand." and then we went swimming.
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and there's bioluminescence out there. you know the little plantains that glow, i like them.
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and then i came back here and did an edinburgh show where i wear a toilet seat on my head. and weirdly-
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you guys have been lovely for listening to me.
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try and address that directly for the first time and work out what it actually means. so thank you very much. thanks.
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audiences to create the ambiance, to make the podcast a brilliant thing. and it's a great show.
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right. hello, everybody. [crosstalk 00:01:12].
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wow, it was a yay rather than hello, but i'll take it. right.
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my name is dave, and i'm your host. now what we do at stand-up tragedy is we invite people to come and stand up and do some tragedy.
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we talk to storytellers, spoken word, artists, comedians, and more. and asked them to come and do their stuff here.
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now we don't know what they're going to do, so that's exciting. we're all in this-
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we don't know what's going to happen on this stage. but one thing we do know is that it's going to have some tragedy involved in it because-
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you walk down the street normally in your life, tragedy can happen to you at anytime, right?
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you can't plan for it. well, tonight we can plan for it.
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it's happening here on this stage. so we're going to hear some tragedy here.
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we're broadcasting to an even bigger audience.
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so it's quite fun for performers to come here because even if there's no one here-
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and it's a tragic s of gigs that there could be, there is still a big audience there listening.
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but it's good to have you live because you're going to see it.
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they won't get to see it. so that's their problem.
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i like to slack them off in front of them. they can hear me now anyway.
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nevermind that. so yes, stand-up tragedy is about tragedy. so that's your content now expect tragedy to happen, but we're also we're doing-
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we've got a really great lineup. so this is, i should say, before i go into this, this is the sad men section.
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it's not the most interesting, but it is the most informative. so yes, we've got lots of other shows happening at the fringe.
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we've got some special additions of stand-up tragedy, so make sure you get a flyer from us and have a look and see who else is performing. and if you go to our website www.standuptragedy.co.uk.
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you can have a look through all the lineups that are coming up. so that's the shows we're doing here at 7:30.
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apart from on tuesdays where we have special recordings of another podcast i do call getting better acquainted. hello, everybody come in.
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there's plenty of tragedy to go around. okay. so yes, the other show-
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i do is happening in here on tuesdays instead of stand-up tragedy, getting better acquainted-
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which is a conversation podcast, which today was mentioned in the financial times in the same breakfast as-
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island distant wtf with mark marin, thus making all of my dreams come true.
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so, yes. so check that out on tuesdays-
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we've got coming up on saturday we got tragedy fails better with paula bojack.
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and dan simpson. and then on monday stand-up tragedy will be hosted by the amazing samantha mann.
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now, if you don't know what that name means, you should come because that name is the best host we're going to ever have on this stage, much better than me.
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number one, a couple of years ago i lost my job because of the cuts. and now i'm trying to struggle and make it as an artist and i haven't got any money.
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so it's important to me and my partner who's in the room because we need to pay our rent. so that's a good reason.
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to more kind of bigger, wider, big society. one might even say reasons to give to the arts at the moment. it is-
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there is a tragic time in our country in terms of the politics going on. and it's the time to give back, not in a big society way, which i mentioned earlier on because-
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that's bullshit, but in a kind of giving to the arts is the best thing that you can do at this moment.
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so we can spread the tragedy and talk about the tragedy, talk about the stuff that's going on.
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so now the saddening sections being enjoyed very much, i can say. so, yes-
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inwardly i was outraged. everyone was touching her-
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i was a tiny bit relieved though, to hear that this was the transgression that had resulted in my sudden pariah status. i greened namely pulled back my hair and said-
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can i have your ears pierced? yeah, what are you? some kind of baby? i thought i'd finally seen the-
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helping women everywhere to fight ridicule, overcome embarrassment and to boldly wear light colors during their periods. and actually ever since then-
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i started using the word menstruator and not just woman. and i've created stains tm.
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a removable stain you can wear on your clothing as you see fit. a fashion statement that really says something. and that something is-
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screw you madison avenue, i'm taking this one back. i'm wearing my heart on my sleeve and my blood on my pants.
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i'm going to reclaim the stain, reclaim my blood and reclaim my period.
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because people i am telling you, red is the new black.
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instagram is the spoof sponsor of adventures and menstruating. so if you come to the show, you will get a free stain kindly provided by the ceo of stains tm, which is me chella quinn. thanks very much.
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for our next performer, she is doing a show called a date with destiny at 11:00 at the underbelly med quote, not on the 18th and-
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hi. great. okay. so i'm going to start us off with one of my mantras. this is a mantra do to get myself through that difficult situations. hopefully you can use it to.
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worst case scenario. surely if the objective is to poll, the worst case scenario-
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that was all i was going to do for you, but i've realized i've actually got a little bit more time, right? so i'm going to do one of my other songs for you. so i was... and the thing is, this is a big part of my comedy show.
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these stories and i kind of decided to turn them into something useful and something powerful that i could then own. so i'm really inspired by... i'm so sorry-
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just on before me.chella. chella? i'm so inspired by her and just her absolute frank honesty in front of-
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there we go. i mean, that's why i do a tragedy show because i take puns and i ruined them and do the original version of them. so, yes.
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so our next performer is performing immigrant diaries at 10:00 at the assembly rooms, not on the 19th. put your hands together-
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i have noticed i kind of host like pretty quiet then wrestling.
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hey, what the hell is that? check that mommy is a chocolate man.
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[inaudible 00:07:36]. so straight away i'm going in front of the class-
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this [inaudible 00:07:41] and i'm playing the xylophone and remember-
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the first day of class i'm the first asian in the school. and the school decided to play a wee xylophone tune.
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and unfortunately it was to the tune of the number one hit of the week. boney m there's a brown girl in the ring.
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so unfortunately, as i'm playing xylophone the whole class is singing, "there's a brown boy in the class tra-
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there's always so many stupid nerd in the class and i had jason wiley.
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