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and if this was my reward in heaven. after they left.
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Female
when i opened my laptop, getting ready to send christopher an email, to tell him that i had just lived out-
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Female
and i saw an email from dave.
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Female
and it had clearly been sent after a lot of beer had been consumed because it was riddled with typos.
C
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and it said "b, i was forced to dine with adam's new thing tonight. still love you best though."
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924
Female
because years ago. i sat on the floor and i held onto his ankle and i begged him not to leave me.
F
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Female
because i begged, i said "but you know i want to marry you."
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Female
and he looked at me then.
C
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Female
everybody for [inaudible 00:07:09].
H
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Male
our next performer, we normally keep him in a kind of box at the back of the stage, but tonight.
H
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Male
he's coming forward to the front of the stage for the first time in a while. we always let you out in edinburgh, really don't we. we end up letting you out in edinburgh. so put your hands-
H
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5.454545
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Male
kind of play and sing a couple of songs. first one's about-
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Male
sort of falling into old habits.
X
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Male
and kind of waking up six months later, realizing that you've quit your job and taken out load of payday loans.
S
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Male
he also does the sound for the entire free pbh free fringe festival. so he is like an amazing person for that.
H
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Male
that's a herculean task. people don't realize how much goes into this sort of stuff. and he does a lot of that stuff. so, another round of applause, i think for harv-
H
5.727273
5.727273
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Male
put your hands together for next best thing!
H
6.181818
5.545455
5.909091
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Male
performers this time are called next best thing. they do sketch comedy.
H
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Male
they're doing a sketch comedy show called never been better at five o'clock opium from now until the 29th, apart from on the 19th-
N
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Male
where do you think you're going dressed like that? syria?
D
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Female
angela. hi, hi, how're you?
U
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Female
my god, so good. how are you?
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Female
yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah. it's just yeah, no, yeah. yeah. you, me, well you know. yeah no i've-
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Female
when you bump into someone in the street knowing you've had your little finger up their bum. memories. god.
H
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Female
i thought she-yep she's safe from you now hall. so you've moved on.
H
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Female
i've moved on. we should double date.
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Female
hello john-
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Female
petals. bird feeders. a loofah. what do these things have in common? they're all symbols of-
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customer design, things on jewelry.com and create an online profile.
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containing the art to be photographed will be delivered to your home address under your mother's maiden name. the other containing the jewelry, you have to find.
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Female
when it arrives at your office the following day under the name of disgrace.
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Female
that's an excellent idea, but what do they want to do with my money?
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Female
next best thing, everybody.
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Male
that's a nice sound for our podcast listeners there.
H
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Male
so our next performer is doing a show called the boy with the moomin tattoo.
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it's really, really good. i really, really enjoyed it the other day. when i saw it and i'm a moomin fan.
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so this isn't part of my show.
H
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this is generally what i do for a warmup in the street, which is why i don't get many people in, and it's soon to be tragic on cosmic and personal and everything kind of levels.
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i'd like to perform for you. a poem by mr. edgar allen poe.
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called the raven.
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as i nodded nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
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"'tis some visitor," i muttered. "rapping at my chamber door. this it is and nothing more."
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i remember it was in the bleak december and each separate dying ember,
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brought its shadow on the floor. eagerly,
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i tried to borrow from my books. so cease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost lenore.
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for the rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name lenore.
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nameless here, for evermore.
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just still the beating of my heart. i stood repeating,
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"'tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door. some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door.
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this it is. and nothing more. this it is and nothing more. this-
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it is and nothing more." presently, my soul grew stronger. hesitating-
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...i, "or madam, truly your forgiveness-
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i implore. but the fact is i was napping. and so softly, you came tapping and so gently,
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you came rapping, rapping at my chamber door that i scarce was sure i heard you." here-
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and nothing more. deep-
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into that darkness peering, long i stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams-
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no mortal ever dared to dream before, but the stillness was unbroken and the silence gave no token. and the only word that's spoken was the whispered word, "lenore?"
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Male
this i whispered, and the echo muttered back the word,
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merely this and nothing more.
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back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning. once again, i heard a tapping somewhat louder than before. "surely," said-
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i, "surely that is something at my window lattice.
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let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore. let my heart be still a moment. and this mystery explore, 'tis the wind and nothing more." open wide-
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...with many a flirt and flutter,
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in there stepped a stately raven of the sainted days of yore.
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not the least obeisance made he, not the minute stopped or stayed he-
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...beguiling my sad fancy into smiling. by the grave and stern demeanor of the countenance it wore,
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"though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," said i-
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"thou art sure no craven, ghastly grim and antique raven coming from the nightly shore.
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Male
tell me what thy lordly name is on the night's plutonian shore." and the bird said,
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much i marveled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, though its answer little meaning, little relevance he bore. for we cannot help agreeing that no living human being ever-
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...he did outpour. nothing further than he uttered, not a feather then he fluttered.
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'til i scarcely more than muttered,
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"other friends have flown before, on the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before." and the bird said,
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startled at the silence broken by replies so aptly spoken. "doubtless," said i,
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"what it utters is its only stock and store caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster followed fast and followed faster 'til his songs-
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one burden bore. 'til the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden-
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bore of never, nevermore. but the raven,
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still beguiling all my fancy into smiling, straight i wheeled a cushion to seat-
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in front of bird, and bust and door.
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with the lamp-light gloating o'er, but whose velvet-
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violet lining with the lamp-light-
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...cried, "thy god hath sent thee respite by these angels-
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he hath lent thee respite, respite and nepenthe from thy memories of lenore. quaff, oh quaff-
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this kind nepenthe and forget the lost lenore." quoth the raven, "nevermore.""prophet," said-
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i, "thing of evil, prophet be if bird or devil.
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thee here ashore, on this desert land enchanted, desolate yet all undaunted, on this home by horror haunted.
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Male
tell me truly, i implore is there, is there balm in gilead?
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tell me, tell me i implore." and the bird said, "nevermore.""prophet," said i, "thing of evil.
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prophet if you bird or devil. by that heaven that bends above us, by that god-
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... "be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend,"
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i shrieked, upstarting, "get thee back into the night.
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and the night's plutonian shore. leave no black plume as a token of that lie-
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thy soul hath spoken. leave my loneliness unbroken.
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pallas just above my chamber door. and his eye have all the seeming of a demon's-
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...from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor shall be lifted-
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put your hands together for joz norris.
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the worst you can do is just sit and be polite and listen for a bit.
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they put their heads on their desks. it makes you appreciate bad comedy audiences.
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it's never as bad as that. so i stood there just for a while, just feeling like i was dying and trying to explain what the creative impulse was to a bunch of people who wanted to be architects. and that was horrid.
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we did oxford, he was an organ scholar, a very sort of academic man. and then i went into a career-
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