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MSP_POD_NLP

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...show playing in my head. because one day i was going to be an international event rider and win.
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the riders at badminton had been my heroes.
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now they were my peers.
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i was so close. i could feel the champagne bubbles pinging in my nose.
H
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one day, a couple of weeks before badminton, i got up and ran my hands down [shanuke's 00:05:30] legs.
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and found a hot raised lump-
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...no bigger than my thumbnail.
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a sign of tendon strain.
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nine years of work.
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7:01 on a monday morning. if you want to find out what happens next-
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Female
tina, i've got a couple of questions. so, i mean, i don't want to do too many spoiler alerts, but you did become a champion at three day eventing.
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Male
yes.and then after that, you've decided to become sort of a poet, an artist.
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how does it feel, going from something you are winning at, you're at the top of your game for-
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...to something you're trying out. and of course you're not going to start up there, are you? how did it feel starting again at the bottom almost?
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always catches up with you. but no, actually it was magnificent to just be unknown.
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what was that sort of first gig like when you kind of decided, right, i'm going to go do this now? i've written something, i'm going to go to an open mic. i'm going to go to a gig and read, perform something.
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i've seen the show and it's absolutely brilliant. it's an incredible-
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...true storytelling, kind of theatrical poetic experience of that kind of journey, i suppose.
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one of the big themes in the show is trying to do better. trying to be good.
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whatever that definition of good is. do you find you need that kind of, i guess there's a kind of true storytelling. do you need to live with that honest-
H
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that's probably the complete opposite to being a champion three-day eventer, i imagine, where everything has to be perfectly poised and perfectly controlled, right?
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so i highly recommend tina shows. she will fly you after, but it's the good delusion, it's on every day at 12:30. amazingly, beautiful, incredible show. ladies and gentlemen, give it up for tina.
H
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lucy lumsden used to drive me to the gigs and lucy lumsden now fucking heather sky. so these girls, they [inaudible 00:07:19] lucy.
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greg, the bloke that didn't do the double out with me. they were going to be successes.
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i facebooked karen corin. for some reason, she's my mate on facebook. i said, "karen-
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...do you remember me?" you're that russian woman.
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all right. all right sweetheart. so that's what i'm doing. good night ladies and gentlemen.
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you were giving me bad looks. you're my husband apparently and you didn't look like you wanted me anymore.
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less sex is going on. you're doing major cunnilingus. right.
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Male
just going to ask you then. do you think standup comedy is responsible for your lesbian-
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no.do you think if you went to russia with your russian accent, you could get away with it for a little, little minute?
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i don't think so either i mean, i-
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i think no, they'd probably kill me. i don't know. i don't think so.
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do you think it's russian? this sounds russian? i think it sounds french.
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i'd love to go to russia. i am actually a russian jew.
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sorry. that's what my show [inaudible 00:08:27] it's about being a russian jew lesbian.
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it's going down really well.can you do any other accents?
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Female
a bad review about my accents, it's not my best thing. other things are. i don't know about-
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no, let's talk about your love life.i broke up-
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...with my girlfriend. she drove me out to... okay. you want to hear about it? she fucking drove me out to edinburgh. she's from north england, right?
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oh, like it's scott's fault.
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lancashire. and she hates when i do the lancashire accents. i wouldn't bother. and she broke up with me.aw.
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and i was going to ask if it's because of the russian accent.she doesn't-
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oh god, this is getting too weird, so bright lights. i do feel like i'm being interrogated by the nazis.
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oh, hello. sorry. hey, i'm so sorry for earlier. you can't see anything on this stage. i'll do anything. that's [inaudible 00:09:29].
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all right. so we have another poet coming up onto the stage. now i had share some true storytelling type stuff with you. so there's just, ladies and gents, give it up for-
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so usually... are we in? yep. cool.
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the memorized. but i've got a whole show in my head right now, which you need to see at 6:45 at pilgrim.
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my name is hannah chutzpah, only it's not really.
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i've had quite a few people asking me, "is that name real?" for those that don't know, chutzpah is a yiddish word-
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that means guts, pazaz, or bare faced cheek, depending on the interpretation.
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and i took it as a stage name because my real name is double barrelled because my parents are hippies and no one can spell either half.
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but yeah. judaism is an in-joke to me, a semi secret identity.
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it makes you smile when you find another from your tribe.
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oh, you were at that gig too. oh, you're a veggie too. yiddish-
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i sprinkle into conversation to see if someone picks it up.
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i am a half jewish, dual national bisexual.
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i live on a few fault lines, but i can blend right in.
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yiddish is my verbal condiment, adds so much flavor.
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i leave breadcrumb trails, but tonight four pints in, i have drowned my subtlety. tonight-
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i dropped a whole loaf of challah on the table. i liked your frum puns.
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he shakes my hand, replies in three whole sentences of yiddish.
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and a dude in an east london pub has just out-jewed me.
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erasing your erasure.
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i dye my shiksa blonde hair dark red. i'm nostalgic for a new york-
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i never knew, and wish for more links to the past that you couldn't wait to escape.
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your success was your daughter's suburbia.
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i was born with a bbc accent, but can't shout-
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growing up second generation means growing grafted. but my branch of the family tree doesn't stay still for two generations.
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i flower in london soil. the seam was small. the transplant took longer ago.
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but the name i am happiest in is one i made up.
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the same as you did. the same as my mother did. our tradition is transformation.
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that and shouting.
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i was named after you, the first initial h to appease my grandmother's angry ghost, my mother said.
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and i don't think you would have liked me much.
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i am my mother's daughter -
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but hinden is nevish helen goldberg.
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the one you left at ellis island as my first penname.
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but i am shickered shiksa tonight. and a dude in an east london pub has just out -
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which i do not speak.
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and my bread crumbs are just breadcrumbs. adds so much flavor.
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couldn't cook a whole meal with it.
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what nature should have done is made me taller. thinner. with -
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you feel it kind of gets you closer to your kind of like truest self, i suppose. that's what i guess i'm getting at.
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accounts. but yeah, i feel like i've grown into it a bit.
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and entitled to like. we don't belong and we don't deserve, and i use rhymes, reasons -
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lots of science and audience participation. swearing.
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all right. thank you very much, hannah. so you can grab her flyer after the show as well.
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and last but not least, i would like to call to the stage, the lead singer of the black diamond express, toby.
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julie put my guitars over here and kicked over the glass in the corner of the room, which is an auspicious start to.
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it was called the station bar and it was a real spit and sawdust bar. they used to be a train line running nearby.
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hence the name station bar. there's no longer a train line there anymore.
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but they had this great sign that said "free house" on the left side.
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no window. and it had this neon sign that said "safari lounge", which looked a hell of a lot more exciting than the reality that was within.
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i used to live upstairs from this place. and on the top floor.
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i'd gotten back and none of my flatmates were there. and i didn't have my key because i'm a musician and -
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i went upstairs, but i had some weed on me.
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so i sat up that i rolled a joint, but because i'm a considerate sort of guy, i thought it probably shouldn't smoke it in my own fucking stairwell.
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somebody might ask me for a toke or something.
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i went across the street and stood next to the super, like the sort of scott med place.
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