text stringlengths 0 1.05k |
|---|
[1477.12 --> 1478.34] Look at what they're doing. |
[1478.82 --> 1481.40] And you see how even in my tone I changed? |
[1481.98 --> 1482.20] Yeah. |
[1482.54 --> 1482.86] Yeah. |
[1482.88 --> 1483.90] You're like, you should. |
[1484.04 --> 1486.36] I just, it's not nice. |
[1487.02 --> 1487.42] No. |
[1487.84 --> 1489.20] You shouldn't speak to somebody like that. |
[1489.50 --> 1490.54] See, I just use a should. |
[1490.82 --> 1491.98] Are they all bad then? |
[1492.12 --> 1492.62] Come on. |
[1493.02 --> 1493.26] No. |
[1493.26 --> 1494.58] You can't say that all shoulds are bad. |
[1494.70 --> 1495.62] Is that what you're saying? |
[1496.38 --> 1499.68] No, I'm, you're going back to the bad. |
[1499.68 --> 1508.14] Well, I'm just trying to, because like, I feel like there is a blurred line there when shoulds are, you know, maladaptive, as you say. |
[1508.64 --> 1511.66] But why should, should that be true? |
[1511.86 --> 1515.24] Like, it's instead, what measure are you using? |
[1515.38 --> 1518.76] Again, if we look at some of what we've talked about, let's be more specific. |
[1519.24 --> 1520.84] Like, why is it important to you? |
[1520.84 --> 1525.88] So if I were to say, I should write, because, you know, I want to write. |
[1526.26 --> 1533.38] But should, if I'm saying I should, it's going to create some resistance, because every time I don't write, guess what I'm going to do? |
[1534.06 --> 1535.16] You're going to feel negative. |
[1535.60 --> 1536.04] Yeah. |
[1536.24 --> 1536.50] Yeah. |
[1537.02 --> 1537.36] Yeah. |
[1537.50 --> 1543.88] You're not living up to your expectation or some expectation of you, the mold you should fit in. |
[1544.30 --> 1544.60] Right. |
[1544.68 --> 1547.72] I still hold that desire, but now I'm like, look, I failed. |
[1548.04 --> 1549.84] So why should I try again? |
[1550.84 --> 1551.84] I don't know. |
[1552.34 --> 1561.36] I'm having a hard time grasping this one, if I'm being honest, because I feel like there's times when I can see it being good and being bad or distorted. |
[1562.12 --> 1564.30] I just really have, I'm struggling on this one in particular. |
[1565.08 --> 1570.92] Well, maybe I think that, you know, part of it might be the nuance in how you've used it with yourself. |
[1571.04 --> 1571.14] True. |
[1571.30 --> 1571.50] Yeah. |
[1571.60 --> 1573.88] And that maybe it hasn't felt negative. |
[1574.00 --> 1575.16] I mean, am I right? |
[1575.22 --> 1576.30] You have a military background? |
[1576.60 --> 1576.82] Yeah. |
[1576.82 --> 1577.14] Yeah. |
[1577.14 --> 1577.52] Yeah. |
[1577.76 --> 1582.02] And I'm pretty sure drill sergeants weren't the most compassionate of people. |
[1582.84 --> 1583.72] I love them all. |
[1583.92 --> 1584.56] They were all amazing. |
[1584.74 --> 1585.26] I'm just kidding. |
[1585.60 --> 1592.88] Some of them, I can actually recall their face right now saying, beat your face, soldier, which means do pushups. |
[1593.32 --> 1593.54] Yeah. |
[1593.54 --> 1596.86] You know, just, yeah, I suppose. |
[1597.04 --> 1597.14] Sure. |
[1597.18 --> 1597.86] What are you getting at? |
[1598.50 --> 1606.56] Well, part of the nature in this internal dialogue has to do with the voices that we internalize. |
[1606.82 --> 1607.08] Okay. |
[1607.08 --> 1615.26] And so the more we're exposed to this and be it, we all have varying degrees of conscientiousness. |
[1615.54 --> 1615.74] Yeah. |
[1615.86 --> 1623.20] Like they've done research around this in terms of employees, like personality factors that make the best employees. |
[1623.20 --> 1625.36] And we can talk about this in upcoming shows. |
[1625.50 --> 1628.64] But the most important one is conscientiousness. |
[1628.90 --> 1631.60] That is the biggest indicator of a great employee. |
[1631.74 --> 1632.48] And do you know why? |
[1632.86 --> 1633.56] What is it? |
[1633.96 --> 1634.78] What is that? |
[1635.36 --> 1635.76] Consciousness. |
[1635.76 --> 1635.88] Consciousness. |
[1636.34 --> 1639.68] Well, it's being aware of all the things. |
[1639.82 --> 1645.34] If I'm conscientious, I don't need somebody to tell me what to do because I've already told myself to do it. |
[1645.44 --> 1645.70] Gotcha. |
[1645.98 --> 1646.20] Okay. |
[1646.22 --> 1653.60] So if I have a high degree of conscientiousness, like I'm already knowing I need to do these 24 things on my to-do list. |
[1653.60 --> 1657.90] And then my boss comes to me and be like, you should do this. |
[1658.46 --> 1660.90] Now I've loaded more on. |
[1661.40 --> 1662.46] And he's not wrong. |
[1662.90 --> 1665.56] I should do them because they're my responsibility. |
[1665.76 --> 1674.68] But I've already, if I should on myself, because I have that narrative in my brain, I've already had a full jury trial convicted. |
[1675.42 --> 1676.58] Like I am sentenced. |
[1676.72 --> 1677.00] I see. |
[1677.34 --> 1678.28] By the shoulds. |
[1678.28 --> 1681.74] So part of it has to do with our individual hard wiring. |
[1682.02 --> 1682.28] Yeah. |
[1682.78 --> 1683.44] Does that make sense? |
[1683.44 --> 1687.30] Like some people are more like, I mean, indifferent, careless. |
[1687.30 --> 1690.76] Like they're just not as concerned with all of the factors. |
[1690.76 --> 1696.08] And so then that would contribute to hearing should in a different way. |
[1696.64 --> 1704.60] Because I already, if I'm already at 95% and then my boss or a friend or my spouse is like, hey, let me remind you of this 25%. |
[1704.60 --> 1706.44] Like you're really not doing so hot on. |
[1707.56 --> 1708.08] I'm like. |
[1708.08 --> 1708.52] It feels like crap. |
[1708.94 --> 1709.34] Yeah. |
[1710.08 --> 1710.52] Yeah. |
[1710.88 --> 1711.12] Yeah. |
[1711.52 --> 1716.20] So maybe part of what you're trying to talk about is like it's nuanced. |
[1716.20 --> 1719.70] And it isn't always not assistive. |
[1720.12 --> 1720.66] But I would say that. |
[1720.66 --> 1729.76] I think when you said that, though, I actually can admit to some clarity because hearing you say it back again, it's what you're talking about is shooting on yourself. |
[1729.76 --> 1733.60] So your internal voice telling yourself you should. |
[1734.18 --> 1734.38] Yes. |
[1734.44 --> 1735.62] And I can understand that better. |
[1736.08 --> 1739.36] That hearing it again, the way you said it clarified it for me. |
[1739.36 --> 1740.98] So I'm less blurred now. |
[1741.10 --> 1742.98] I will forfeit that. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.