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**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** So then I tweaked it ever so slightly more, and I said "For every thorn, every upsetting or negative or hurtful thing that you encountered today, you have to give me two roses." And I'm probably going to keep increasing that, because so much of -- I mean, imagine how the weather affects yo... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** "I have the distortions... What's going on?!" Everybody has this. It's a thing. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah, come join the rest of us. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. Join the club. You already have. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** \[laughs\] Right, got the T-shirt. But what am I going to do so that I can change and move in that direction. I want to be intentional about the way that I live, that I am looking for the things that help me feel better and do better, because guess what I'm then going to build a snowball a... |
\[35:53\] We talk about it in learning, because we're not always in charge of outcomes, and this is part of managing our humanity. I can imagine losing someone I love and just how horrific that would feel to me. I don't think there's any amount of time I could spend with those I love that I would be like "That's good! ... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** "I've had enough", yeah. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** So it's going to be painful at whatever time. But if I can learn to practice putting on gratitude, and I have had to practice this with my kids especially, because I love them; I'm so grateful for them, they were wanted... So every time a thought pops up of imagining something happening to... |
Remember when we talked earlier about "neurons that fire together, wire together", so the more that I think a thought, the more that I'm running that play, my brain automates to that. So I wanna practice automating around the positive, that I can just see it. |
There is a psychologist who wrote this book some years go called The Happiness Advantage. His name is Shawn Achor. He studied at Harvard, and he had this experience which prompted a research study around thoughts. He'd been playing Grand Theft Auto all night long, and he went out the next morning to go to class, and he... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** \[laughs\] Oh, boy. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** And he was mortified. He's like "What? What in me-- I'm training to be a psychologist and I'm having these thoughts. What the heck?!" Not to mention that the policeman was in the vehicle, and that didn't deter him. So, he did this study and had students play Tetris for - I forget the lengt... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Because of the importance. The more you think of something, the more it's gonna appear in your life, whether it was always there or it's suddenly there, because you're now having this thought pattern. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Mm-hm. And one other thing that I wanna talk about in terms of what we can do differently is using the best friend test. It's going "If I have this thought, would I say this to my friend?" For example with the should: "You should be doing that", "You should get A's", "You shouldn't have an... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah... Probably not. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Exactly. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** But when you say "probably not" is when it's... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Problematic. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right, because there's something-- context doesn't fit. And context is so much at the heart. Like we've talked about specificity, and saying "Look, much of these distortions - all or nothing, catastrophe - they're not rooted in context." They are generalizations or they're global, as oppos... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah, they're not based on facts. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** \[39:43\] Right? And we're all different, and so I want to recognize that I am different than everybody else, and nobody's had my experiences, nobody has my exact genetics... All of those things. I always find it fascinating with siblings, because people are raised in the same house, by th... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** No. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Never. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Never. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right. Because different things stand out to us, in different ways, at different times. But so much of own experiences that are individual are going to affect not only what we think, but then how we see our world. So for our listeners, I would say, what do we take away? What's your next st... |
Then what I want you to do is write the alternative you are going to replace it with. So not just "Okay, now I'm aware." I always talk about this with patients in terms of getting better at improving you and your life is twofold. There's acknowledging, and then there is action. So we are gonna acknowledge the thing we'... |
I would love to hear from you guys. We've got Brain Science on Slack... You can comment in terms of which distortion you chose and what you are doing differently. |
• The importance of examining one's thoughts and considering the thinker behind them |
• How a lack of awareness about our thoughts can lead to distorted thinking |
• The role of attention in being able to notice and evaluate our thoughts |
• Metaphorically comparing thoughts to soil, highlighting the need for fertile and nourishing ones |
• The limitations of human attention span and how it affects our ability to observe details |
• Discussing cognitive distortions and their impact on self-optimization and personal growth |
• Introducing Aaron Beck's concept of 10 cognitive distortions |
• Catastrophic thinking is imagining the worst-case scenario |
• Context is key in considering whether catastrophic thinking is relevant |
• Negative focus versus positive sides of an experience or environment |
• Impact of catastrophic thinking on daily life and decision-making |
• Gratitude as a more effective approach than catastrophic thinking when dealing with loss |
• Fear as a feeling tied to catastrophic thinking |
• Talking back to oneself and having a relationship with one's thoughts as a way to navigate catastrophic thinking |
• Distorted aspects of oneself and maladaptive tendencies |
• Dissociative identity disorder as an extreme example |
• Internal dialogue and fragmented self-states |
• Conflict between opposing aspects of the self (e.g., healthy vs. indulgent) |
• Mediation and compassion in managing conflicting thoughts and emotions |
• Recognizing and reframing catastrophic thinking patterns |
• Practicing gratitude and focusing on present-moment experiences |
• Cognitive flexibility as a key component of wellness |
• Distortion of "all or nothing" binary thinking |
• Labeling oneself as never doing something right |
• The importance of reframing statements with specific examples and timeframes |
• Criticism vs. constructive feedback |
• How labeling oneself as incapable breeds hopelessness and erodes relationships |
• Analogies for personal growth, including hummingbirds and Under Armour's gear design |
• All-or-nothing thinking and catastrophizing |
• Awareness of expectations vs. reality in novice vs. expert situations |
• Recognizing and understanding distortions, including all-or-nothing thinking and should statements |
• The difference between encouragement and self-berating with "should" statements |
• Reframing "should" statements to focus on desire and personal choice |
• The speaker's desire for autonomy in making choices |
• The distinction between playing an active role and falling into a predetermined mold |
• The potential for shoulds to be oppressive or maladaptive |
• Internalized voices and the impact of external expectations on behavior |
• Conscientiousness as a personality trait that influences decision-making and behavior |
• The concept of "shoulds" and how it relates to internalized expectations and responsibilities |
• Mental filters and how they can lead to an overly negative outlook on life |
• Focusing too much on negative details and losing sight of the bigger picture |
• Importance of acknowledging both positive and negative aspects of life |
• Need for balance between being aware of problems and avoiding denial or unrealistic optimism |
• The speaker notes the prevalence of negative mental filters in people's lives |
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