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i don't know if that's true, but he's asked me to say it.
S
3.6
2.4
3
976
Female
i'm going to have a guess my weight competition. it's going to be like a guess the weight at the cake competition that you have in a fête, except obviously you don't win a cake.
H
5.916667
4.666667
5.333333
976
Female
you just win me, which is slightly less good than winning a cake. if you don't think that's less good-
H
5.2
3.4
5
976
Female
... i really worry about your need to gain ownership of a fat middle-aged woman, but it's not a good thing to win.
H
4.6
4.6
4.6
976
Female
but i'm making a show about my fat body and i'm holding a guess my weight-
H
4.4
2.6
4.8
976
Female
... competition. the reason i'm doing this is because i am okay with my fat body, and that is how okay i am about it. i am very, very okay.
H
5.333333
5.111111
5.444444
976
Female
except it is quite hard-
S
4.2
2.8
3.8
976
Female
... to be okay with your fat body. a thing about being okay with your fat body is in many ways-
U
5
3.8
5.4
976
Female
... it's as prone to failure and disappointment is changing of that body, which in case you don't remember from two minutes ago is very prone to failure and disappointment indeed.
S
4.6
2.4
4.5
976
Female
the thing about that option though, being okay with my fat body is, if i fail at it-
X
3.8
3.2
3.6
976
Female
... at least you can't tell by looking at me.
F
5.083333
4.333333
4.166667
976
Female
you can't tell that i'm not okay with my fat body.
S
4.4
2.6
4.4
976
Female
you'd never know. you'd never know that i'm not okay with my fat body.
S
3.8
2.8
4.2
976
Female
i'm making a show about my fat body. you'd assume i was okay with it-
A
5
3.2
5.4
976
Female
.... i think. the thing is i really do want to be okay with my fat body, and the reason why-
X
3
4
4.2
976
Female
... i want to be okay with my fat body is because-
N
4.4
3.6
4.2
976
Female
... i've kind of always assumed that if i was okay with my fat body-
F
4.2
2.8
3.8
976
Female
i thought if i make a show about my fat body, that will make me okay about my fat body. then by the end of the show-
X
5.4
5
5.4
976
Female
... i'll be thin.
U
4.4
4.2
4.2
976
Female
you can come and see the show and see how well that's actually worked.
N
5.2
4.4
4.6
976
Female
i mean, it's a lifestyle change being in a show.
H
4.666667
4.833333
5.166667
976
Female
[inaudible 00:02:59]. hello everyone, how's it going? [crosstalk 00:03:00].all right. just by way of warning you won't learn anything from this story.
N
3.8
4
3.6
1027
Male
right. i mean, as i said earlier on that every act is different, so expect the unexpected.
H
5.5
5.583333
5.25
867
Male
and the next act is certainly unexpected.
U
5.2
4
4
867
Male
he was hammering a grape into the face of justin bieber-
U
5.4
4.2
5
867
Male
... whilst reciting greek tragedy. i have no idea what's going to happen now.
N
5.2
3.4
5.2
867
Male
he'll be doing his new show, the golden age of steam-
X
4.8
4.4
4.6
867
Male
.. at edinburgh this year, so look out for that. put your hands together for michael.
H
6.1
5.8
5.5
867
Male
okay so, the next act would've been sophia walker, but she's had to pull out today.
H
4.6
4
5
867
Male
she's an amazing spoken word artist and you should totally check her out. but she had to pull out at the last minute.
H
4.6
5.4
5.2
867
Male
i'm moving my set that was in the tragic sex part of the night-
X
4.666667
3.5
4.666667
867
Male
... to here, because it also fits with tragic beginnings.
S
4.2
3.8
4.6
867
Male
so you get some extra sex, and the next act is me. put your hands together for me.
H
4.8
5
5
867
Male
first of all, the content that you're hearing is very new, and so be patient with it.
H
5
4
3.8
867
Male
... you want, but that's what's happening. right, so i'm doing my show, a solo show in edinburgh this year. it's called what's-
H
5.8
4.7
5.1
867
Male
... my questions about what men think about patriarchy, and what men think about masculinity.
N
4.4
4.2
5.2
867
Male
i'm going to do the first little bit of that that i've ever done in public.
X
4.2
4.6
4.2
867
Male
it won't be the start of that show, but that's what i'm going to do today. okay.
H
5.090909
5.454545
5.090909
867
Male
in that survey, i asked people how patriarchy has hurt them.
F
4.4
3.2
4.4
867
Male
that's one of the things i ask them. one of the ways that patriarchy has hurt me is in the way it's influenced my understanding and my experience of sex.
N
4.888889
3.888889
5.666667
867
Male
i invented something amazing.
H
5.25
6
5.75
867
Male
i discovered something that nobody else in the world had ever known.
A
7
1
6
867
Male
i discovered it late at night, lying in bed. i found that my body could do this amazing, amazing thing.
U
6.4
6.3
5.9
867
Male
and i couldn't wait until the next day to tell everybody else about it.
H
5.538462
5.615385
5.307692
867
Male
i gathered a group of young men around the same age as me.
A
5.2
4
5.2
867
Male
i discovered this amazing thing. i call it simulated sex.
H
6.6
6.2
6.3
867
Male
i described to them what i'd been doing, which was rubbing myself until i achieved orgasm, and they said-
H
6
6
5
867
Male
... "everyone knows about that," and i realized i hadn't invented simulated sex.
H
5.833333
4.833333
5.5
867
Male
one of the ways that you could describe my upbringing is feminist. until i was eight, my father looked after me and my mum went out to work.
N
4.4
4.6
4.8
867
Male
my older half-sisters, who are old enough to have played aunt-like roles in my childhood, as well as my mom and my dad were influenced by the feminist movements of the '60s and the '70s.
N
4.8
4.4
4.8
867
Male
the women in my family were strong, feminist role models, debunking many of the social myths that get imparted to young children through culture.
H
5.272727
5.363636
5.272727
867
Male
in fact, in my family, it's the women who-
N
5.2
4.6
5.4
867
Male
... both make the decisions and wheel the financial clout.
H
5.444444
4.333333
5.555556
867
Male
however, if we have to look at things through this-
C
5
3
5
867
Male
... dominator model, the people in charge in my family-
N
4.6
3.8
4.2
867
Male
... are the women. my mom's marriage to my step-
X
4.8
4.6
4.4
867
Male
... dad was a complicated blip in that, but it was just a blip.
N
4.625
4.25
5.125
867
Male
that blip happened when i turned eight and things got complicated.
S
4
3
4.4
867
Male
i witnessed and experienced a patriarchal model in my home life, and the world stopped being a safe space for me.
N
4
4
4
867
Male
but even then i had a strong feminist perspective imparted to me by my father. during those years, he was a member of a feminist children's book club, and many of the books-
N
4.6
4.6
5
867
Male
... i was reading came from there. even as i was experiencing the opposite of a positive male role model in my main home, when i went to my dance at weekends-
X
4.4
4.2
4.6
867
Male
...i was shown a model of masculinity that embraced not only feminism, but love, empathy, and compassion.
H
5
5.4
6.2
867
Male
i was dressed in hand-me-downs from my niece, which meant that i was regularly sent to primary school wearing pink jeans.
C
5.2
4
5
867
Male
i didn't really conceive of the idea that boys and girls were significantly different.
N
4.2
3.6
4.4
867
Male
from then until i was about 15, all my friends would be boys.
X
5.4
5.1
5.1
867
Male
i occasionally had girl friends, but i didn't have girl-
N
5.444444
4.444444
5.111111
867
Male
we basically self-segregated ourselves along gender lines.
D
4.4
3.8
5
867
Male
i was around nine years old when charmaine case dropped my rubber on the floor-
X
5.2
5
5.4
867
Male
... and when i reached down to pick it up, she flashed me her vulva.
N
4.5
4
4.583333
867
Male
when i was 10 or so, i told rebecca swift, who i was going out with, that-
H
5.111111
5
5.111111
867
Male
... it wasn't right for us to continue to go out because i'd seen charmaine's vulva, but i hadn't seen hers.
X
3.6
2.6
4.4
867
Male
this resulted in us showing each other our genitals behind the back of her garden shed.
H
5.2
4.2
4.4
867
Male
although i wasn't aware of it at the time-
U
4.4
3.8
4
867
Male
... this was, as your laughter suggests, a very manipulative move, and looking back at it makes me shutter.
D
5
2.6
5.2
867
Male
even in terms of the practicalities-
N
4.833333
4.666667
5
867
Male
... there were clearly some gaps in my understanding, as my invention of masturbation should demonstrate.
N
4.4
3.8
4.2
867
Male
instead of learning consent and desire, what i instead managed to learn was guilt.
N
3.8
3.8
4.2
867
Male
i was inventing masturbation next door to the room where my mum and my step-
U
4.8
5
5.2
867
Male
... dad were ripping each other apart. sex became something linked with sadness to me.
S
4.2
2
3.6
867
Male
a way to momentarily block out the screaming rouse.
F
4.2
3.2
4.4
867
Male
i think the shaming we are all taught to perpetuate makes all genders into weapons against each other.
U
4.2
4.6
5
867
Male
we slot into a horrible jigsaw puzzle that encourages us all to ignore and devalue consent, our own and each other's.
X
4.6
3.2
4.2
867
Male
they are shamed in a very different way to men. men are seen as disgusting animals-
X
4.8
2.2
5.6
867
Male
but that is presented as our natural state. women who desire are seen as deviant.
N
4
4
4
867
Male
the best stuff that i learned about sex came from my mother. although since she doesn't have boundaries.
C
5.2
3.4
5.6
867
Male
for example, she often told me that giving birth to her second son was the most sexual experience of her life.
H
5.583333
5.25
5.666667
867
Male
this made me feel pretty strange since i am her second child, but it also taught me something about some women's experiences.
H
5.636364
5.636364
5.363636
867
Male
-her coming. which is a useful thing to know and consider, but possibly a question of what emphasis to be giving to an adolescent boy, i think.
X
5
4.8
5.2
867
Male
this is the thing, even with progressive and supportive parents.
N
3.8
3.8
3.8
867
Male
i don't think it's fair to say that when i was a teenager.
N
4
3.8
4.4
867
Male
i knew that talking to all humans was pretty much the same thing, but i didn't know how to talk to girls about desire.
X
5
5
5
867
Male
i didn't know how to negotiate romance. to be honest, i'm not sure i do now.
N
5.2
2.8
5.2
867
Male
if i'd had better sex education.
A
5.2
3
5.2
867
Male
i'd have known that the idea of virginity is a weird one anyway.
N
5.4
4.2
5.4
867
Male
sex isn't just when a penis goes into a vagina, there are many ways to have sex.
A
7
1
6
867
Male
so i'd had sex before i officially lost my virginity.
N
5.2
4.2
5
867
Male
i was having sex at 15 when me and my previous girlfriend were messing around in my bed on and off for six months.
A
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1
6
867
Male
i did a lot of things to her that, which we both enjoyed, but she didn't get me off.
C
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3.2
4.4
867
Male
i was always confused about why. and a few years later, when drunk at a nightclub.
X
4.4
4.8
4.8
867
Male
i asked her and she said that she didn't know either.
N
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4.6
4.8
867
Male