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MSP_POD_NLP

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so you should definitely look out for that and that's given away her name, so-
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fall. this was love.
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i drank a latte, frothy, by which i mean-
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...he never did. he just bent down and picked up his leather backpack.
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he kissed me on both cheeks. then held my face in his hands and said-
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..."you look the same, bella."
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"so do you, ang"
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i didn't see justin again for five years.
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when i was 24-
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...and he was an angel-
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...well he looked like an angel-
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...actually, he didn't, he looked like an fbi special agent, specifically fbi special agent seeley booth from the police procedural-
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...bones, played by an older, worn david boreanaz. if you took angel out on a 10 year-
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...bender, then dropped him off at a crime scene, and asked him to quit-
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...i didn't remember.
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"at the time i ran into you at uni, well, i was going to say it then, but you seemed so,-"
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..."not to be a stickler, justin, but we've already had sex."
U
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"no, buddy, we haven't."
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..."you didn't." "you came over that-"
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... "[inaudible 00:01:55] we've done it now. and it was great. i feel kind of relieved-"
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..."just felt so embarrassed about that night, because you try to do-" i sank back into the pillow and tried to tune him out. i've been telling this story for 10 years-
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...it wasn't even true. the guy i lost my virginity to was the ne-
U
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...tom. god, he was insignificant. this guy, the one beside me, or at least his past selves, which i had apparently-
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...invented, was the significant one. the one that got away, not the one who couldn't get it in.
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"i know this is quick, but i really feel like we might have something here."
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"hey, in another sense, this has been 10 years coming, right?"
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"let's go to sleep, hey?"
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i waited until he was snoring, and i slid out of bed. i gathered up my clothes, dressed as quickly as i could, and then finding his front door deadlocked, i opened his bedroom window slid through it, and sprinted into the night.
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as i waited to hail a cab. one thought emerged inside to bang itself against the front of my head.
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"i have got to leave sydney."
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and i did.
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bought a one way ticket, and i flew to london.
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but he is anyway. this is liz, she helps with [inaudible 00:03:21] tragedy.
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when you don't give people the words, they don't sing along. and then it's just me singing. however, none of the plugs there worked tonight.
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so we are having to be a little bit... the-
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...powerpoints on the desktop is called, "let's talk about-"
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right. so who knows this song?
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there wasn't that many people, we're going to have to really do it tonight. we can try it-
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...without the words. i might want to look at the screen.
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the purpose of this is to be ridiculous. and so i guess that's what we're going to be. do you want to cue up the music?
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we're like a smoothly oiled machine. so-
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...friend us on facebook, check out the events for more details. if you want to stay and drink, we've got a lot-
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being thrown out. but because i didn't feel like a woman. and i wondered if anyone saw me walk through that door, they'd automatically assume things, they probably would anyway-
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...but i was confirming it by walking through that door.
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now, i was cringing, because i was truly scared i'd upset someone for being in there.
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i hated being called, 'sir.' i also hated being called 'madam.'.
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i wished with all my heart that people would stop assuming, stop putting their concept of my identity in my mouth forcefully.
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if i just nod and go with it, am i doing it selfishly-
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...to not start a spark of q and a fuel fire? if i spoke out, corrected them-
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...each time, would i be helping others like me in the conquest?
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to not think of every time i'm called pretty and not handsome? to not think about anything at all really? but i have a fucking encyclopedia for a brain, and that doesn't help.
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internal racism, internal misogyny, internal transphobia. do i deal with all of this first before i deal with the world?
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i've seen there's some dialogue going on. first thing to check, are they speaking with a mouthful? because-
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...and i'm totally okay with that. thank you.
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so one of the reasons i'm doing this section about tragic bodies. it's because i'm making a show about my body. and one thing about my body is i'm fat.
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now, just to point out, the little bit-
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...i'm going to do now is about explaining what it's like to be fat. and if you are fat-
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..."well, i already know this, why are you explaining this to me?"
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it's almost as if i'm some second rate human being. but if you're fat, you're used to that.
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and i'm fat, this is how fat i am. one thing about being fat,-
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...you're not meant to mention it.
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and the other thing about being fat,-
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...i know how fat i am. i'm not going to look at a photograph of myself-
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...one day and go, "oh my god, i've got an arse." in the same way-
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...you wouldn't look at a photograph of your house and go, "oh my god, there's an upstairs."
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i live here-
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...i know what it's like, fat people know that they're fat.
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i know you know.
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and that, as i understand it, is how being fat works.
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that's the system that no one has agreed upon.
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if you're fat, there's a couple of things you can do.
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that's actually the most popular one.
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but if you don't, if you decide that what you want is to try and change your body, that's a difficult thing. there is a idea that there's a physics to this that-
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...that's the body you have. but, it's not a simple as that.
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they were actually only trying to lose one very tiny pound of weight. anyway-
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...and that is now pretty much common knowledge. everyone knows you can't lose weight from dieting.
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babies are now born with this in their dna, that they know that you-
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...can't lose weight from dieting. aliens on planets without gravity know that you can't lose weight by dieting.
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it may be possible to lose weight from something called, a lifestyle change, but no one knows what that is.
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and the more i think about it, the more i think what they mean when they say, "lifestyle change is just being dead."
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which i suppose would work.
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i don't do that,-
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...i've chosen the best option, which is being okay about my fat body.
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i am okay about my fat body.
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so obviously, i'm okay about my fat body.
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i'm making a show called, "how to be fat." would a person who wasn't okay about their fat body do that?
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i am okay about my fat body.
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would a person who wasn't okay about their fat body, make a show about having a fat body?
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obviously not. i am okay-
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...about my fat body. i'm so okay, i've made a show about it.
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in my show, i'm going to have a "guess my weight" competition.
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i'll be doing this, because i think it will be upsetting.
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weight is an upsetting thing, people get upset about it. if i'm not allowed to tell you that i'm fat-
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...i'm even less allowed to tell you my weight, and you are certainly not allowed to tell me what you think my weight is. and that is why i'm going to have a "guess my weight" competition.
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i told the director of my show-
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... competition. the director of my show is a very fat man.
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why do you want to do that? i said, "because i don't think people know what fat people weigh."
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put this part in where i say that the ex-director of my show-
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... does not weigh 22 stone.
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apparently he weighs 15-and-a-half stone.
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