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MSP_POD_NLP

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yeah. i mean, who gets the phone call asking if they-
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... want to help out in a hollywood film?
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i think i'm beyonce. yeah. so i'm like, "yeah. yeah. what do you want me to do?" really casually, just chipping over. and he's like, "well-
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... actually the problem is is the other main part in this film is a ten-year-old child."
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now legally, they're not allowed on set at all all the time. so we wondered if you could just come down and when they're not allowed to be, so they can set the cameras to your heights and stuff like that.
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so the first day i turned up on the site, i'm with kevin costner.
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i actually look him in the eye because he's kevin costner and you don't do that.
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so all i could hear through someone's head piece was the hollywood director, just shouting down the head-
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... piece, "i don't like her. i don't like her."
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so let's put this tragedy into some sort of perspective for you. i'd failed at being a 10-year-old stand in in the movies. okay.
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the next day, it got a whole lot better though. so i was introduced to my stand ins, which were my companions on the set.
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it was the end of the filming of the big beeps with the choppers and everything.
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his words, not mine. and a beautiful model. and basically just as a side note to this as well.
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the hierarchy, and i didn't know this, the reason that i've been sat on a box, basically in richmond, is because-
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... the hierarchy to movies is there's only a couple of chairs.
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one of those will go to the leading actor and one of those will go to the director and everybody else is expected to walk around and work basically, and went to get things. but obviously i can't do that.
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so when i got on set on this airfield, straight away, smack banging kevin costner's chair.
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now this did two things, basically. there's not really a lot-
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... people could do about it because there was nothing, nowhere else for me to sit. throughout the course of the next three days...
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... things happen. i was having choppers landed in front of me.
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more and more though, because i was sat on these chairs, the actual leading actors chairs.
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people started to believe that i was a lead in this production. it was fantastic.
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even kevin costner himself, by the end of it, actually believed that i was bigger than joan crawford. it was fantastic. it ended sadly with-
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... people getting my coffee straight away. people bringing me dinner on set.
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obviously i never went to costume to changes into the clothes that a 10-year-old-
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... child should wear. so i was head-to-toe in gucci with massive shades, proper rocking it up at the side of the airfield.
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i'm like, "no, it's all right. my mom told me i'm never allowed to speak to stranger."
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man. totally hit it off. get to my car, sit in the back for about 10 minutes.
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because i'm so important, i forgot i've got to drive myself.
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so you're all asking, where's the tragedy in this-
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... state? well, basically it really did end well. so but basically the film doesn't come out until next year and tragic point number one...
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i'm not in it. tragic point number two...
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i probably ruined it and made it so awkward for any short person ever in this industry to ever be able to do that job again. and tragic point number three...
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just like everyone else. so that was my movie career done and dusted.
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so as you say, i am at chow-
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... lima, joe coffee, doing curiously caffeinated. please do come down and thank you very much for listening.
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end up in a fucking toilet.
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life got easier as i got older because i learned to speak english.
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my parents got enough money to afford me school dinners and most of all important...
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... i learned how to oppress every bit of human emotion like an english person.
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now growing up in a chinese family...
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there are three [inaudible 00:06:29] choices. doctor, lawyer, accountant.
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so as i graduated my law degree and handed over my 2:1 and my student loan...
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my dad was horrified. he told me that the entertainment industry was full of drug addicts and homosexuals. now i've been an actress for eight years and i can honestly say he-
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... wanted me to be a doctor, a real one please, not just filming.
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i went to see a doctor and they quite quickly said i had quite a bad case of clinical depression as they prescribed me 12 months worth of antidepressants and referred me to a therapist.
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now i personally think in this country we're very quick to take drugs.
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so i went for the therapy instead because after all i'm an actress.
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she's told me very quickly in our first session.
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you lost your entire world when you left china.
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it's no wonder you'd withdrawn to acting.
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you've been performing your whole life. and before i could even say, "nice shot."
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what do i know? i was transported back in time, like a flashback from my movie.
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and it was 1991 pancake day and the smell of pancakes and butter and lemon and sugar in the air. and all the kids buzz around all the cooking, like frantic little bees. and i was really excited.
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this new experience. and suddenly i was paralyzed. i couldn't move.
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and i looked around just to check. has anyone else been hit by this airborne zombie virus? was it just me? oh, it's just me.
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and i realized what it was. i was beyond exhausted.
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i was so tired. my body was shutting down.
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we didn't have direct flights to england or maybe it was the fact in china, kids that age still had naps.
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what i should've done was to go up to a teacher and say, "oh, miss audrey, i don't feel very well. can i please lie down?"
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but instead, five-year-old me looked around, assessed the situation, married it with all the evidence i'd already gathered and said, "no."
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don't you dare fall asleep. don't you dare. stay awake.
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don't make a fuss. don't be different.
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i'd realized in that moment, my survival skill, my survival depended on overriding. well-
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i arrived in england on the 31st of january, 1991 and shrove tuesday that year was the 12th of february.
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it took less than two weeks for my five-year-old self to make a decision that would change the cognitive development of me as an adult.
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love yourself, probably wouldn't fit in on nhs pamphlet.
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but i do think it's your body's way of going, "you held onto that shit for way too long. you need to let go."
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i had no iphone. i didn't have a book. so i didn't have friends. i had no choice, but to take myself-
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... on this fantastic adventures with something that we all have but that we don't get to use enough, our imagination.
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all those times i never felt like i fitted in. i had to quickly decipher what i thought that person wanted from me, build a character and present her quickly to the world.
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and all those times i sat in front of food, i couldn't eat.
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starving, just wanting to eat has helped me develop a really useful eating disorder that makes me look fantastic on screen.
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we are the product of our experiences and the sooner-
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... we stop running away from them, the freer that we are. i'll leave you with the words of a hero of mine, mr. kurt cobain, "they laugh at me because i'm different."
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i laugh at them because they're the same. thank you so much for listening.
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our next performers are rare in edinburgh, they're not doing a show.
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there are two of them though, so i'm happy to set up the mics. i text having the night off-
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okay. so our next performers, you can find them on twitter at leo and liam one, put your hands together everyone for leo and liam.
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hello. thank you for coming mate. i'd better tell you now, alan has quit, alan has quit.alan's gone.
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alan's gone. there's just the two of us left now. there is just the two of us left on the board. so what i thought i'd do, just as a last little thing.
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the bailiffs going to be coming in about 10 minutes, we've got about 10 minutes left-.
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i thought the last thing we do is we'd have a last little board meeting.
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just like we used to.i just don't understand anything about how it's happened.
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that's what's the worst thing about it because we had everything.that's part of the reason why i've done the meeting.
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just double check for us, when was the last fruit or vegetable discovered in the wild.
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yeah. okay, good. so the next-
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really, it's the copycat companies.
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i thought it's important to talk about and i've brought a few that brought a few of the cards here.absolute bastards.
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we done that in 2004, hadn't we.sending you a big birthday [inaudible 00:01:35].
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yeah. i mean, there's no heart in that, is there, the eyes aren't even that googly.
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all that we put into this, because i don't know if people can see that-
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but on the letter from the fennel it says mr-
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yeah, and with these ones, they've just drawn the arms and legs on haven't they. where as we did proper plasticine ones.plasticine ones.
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and they're same money were getting for each card when we're putting loads more work into it.
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so yeah, we're really pushing for time now. so i thought we'd try and end on a high, we try and go out doing what we do best.
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[inaudible 00:02:11] [crosstalk 00:02:11] he's another shareholder yeah. so i thought, what we do just a little bit something nice for them,
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exactly, yeah. so i thought maybe something along the lines of like-
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"thank you for staying with us in our rough patch and ignoring the advice of the financial ombudsman," something like that.
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cause he made that report, didn't he, that was a bit damning.
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