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MSP_POD_NLP

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you actually are a perfect, love what's your name?
U
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Male
those are the three commandments that you must adhere to. if you wish to remain employed here as a royal family poison.
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5.888889
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Male
if anyone dies, any point, for any reason you're fired. is that clear? yes, chef.
A
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6.181818
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Male
that's [aouise00:00:35], not louise. do not make the same mistake i did. i miss her every day.
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my phones, ipods, eyeballs.
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captain must go down with the ship, after all it's tradition.are you sure?yes.
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i'm just a care taker.
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Male
everybody casual violence, everybody.
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james hamilton, is so lonely and the whole of this other judging crew, apart from me have seen it. and they said it was amazing. so yeah, i definitely recommend it. so yes.
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thanks for coming to stand up tragedy special edition, tragic...
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violence today, as i said earlier on.
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we are free, it's free to get in and it's free to go out.
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right, so our next performance, she is doing a show called how was it for you at clark's bar? and so the 30th of august at 3:30 pm.
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okay, so our next performer, she normally keeps the time but now she's going to be standing on a stage. and who's going to keep the time, who knows?
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she is an academic as well as a producer of stand up tragedy.
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she said that you can find her on linkedin.
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if you want to, because she's an academic and that's what they do. they don't go on about facebook and twitter and all that sort of stuff. so yes.
H
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was highly influenced by the tv series, the west wing. anyone familiar with that?
U
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Female
yeah, there's going to be a reoccurring theme about arts and cinema throughout my set.
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i don't know why they're a key point for me. i do watch a lot of movies and tv, so that might be why.
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it showed an idealized vision of what it could be like in the u.s.
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what a government could be like, it could be a president who cared, who was socialist and leftist and cared about those sorts of things. so for me...
D
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i wanted to be the chief of staff, the one contributing and making things better, without the alcoholism.
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and the other thing...
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the really nerdy thing, was i was studying history alongside and i got obsessed.
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with the creation of the american welfare state. yes, we do have a welfare state.
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fdr, president franklin delano roosevelt.
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created something called the new deal. well, in fact, there's two new deals.
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it began because of economic and social change.
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it was the crashing of the banks and the great depression, which left people devastated, destroyed unemployed, hungry, starving, and dying.
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so what are you going to do? well...
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maybe sound a bit familiar, where you take your economic policy and try to promote and protect the banks and restart your economy, maybe throwing a lot of money at the banks.
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Female
everybody's doing a show in here called danger man, after this show.
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Male
put your hands together for [matthew harvey 00:03:50].
H
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good evening. are you all alright?
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yeah.you know what i really expected there was for you to...
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say, ah no, i'm actually feeling a little bit tragic, so can we try that again?
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yeah, that was a tragic sound, thank you.
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like an introduction, i am a last minute replacement. so i was upstairs.
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i was supposed to be flyering, but what was really going? i said, where in this city of joy.
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and this festival of excitement.
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can i find a story of personal tragedy, so i was racking my brains. and then i remembered as far back as last night.
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and this is exactly true, my audience was 20% canine.
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by that i don't mean the room was full of some kind of weird mutant, no.
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there were four people and a dog.
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i could have handled scrappy-doo. you know, i think it broke me.
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so i wrote a little poem on my way...
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home. it's called, my fringe life a poem by [matthew harvey 00:05:18] aged in his thirties.
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they count as two audience members.
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this is how you do it, i'll make these lights change faster, i'm better at pressing than you.
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and as i try and suppress the rage that's building inside.
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you blatantly, and without any visible signs of remorse commit one of life's more unforgivable crimes.
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by pressing the button again, a further five or six times in quick succession.
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now, this is not something i can forgive or get over. no bridge can span this behavioral rift, because i know if we have this sort of carry on...
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a pedestrian crossing. imagine what it would be like if we both waiting for a lift, which is fine.
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if you say i'm going down and you're going up.
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but if we're both going in the same direction.
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what the fuck? i hate to be the one to burst this particular bubble, but the fact that that little button there is illuminated...
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means i've already pressed it without too much trouble. and then of course we'll have to stand together.
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in the overbearingly oppressive silence that can only come from getting into a lift with one who has abused there button pressing privileges.
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we'll stand there, eyes forward, silence.
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i'll pretend to read the emergency evacuation notice.
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you'll think i'm being safety conscious, but no.
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i'm seething, i'm making a mental list of all your character flaws.
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i bet you own a copy of sting's greatest hits.
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i bet you...
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Male
think that bono actually would be a worthwhile recipient of the nobel peace prize.
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spoiling point. but by now it's too late, you've alighted at your required floor and left me here alone full of hate.
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and there is no coming back from this. what you see before you is just a shell, a dried up husk of a man lost in button pressing etiquette.
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you might get hit by a car anytime and that would be a tragedy that you wouldn't...
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now, this is the kind of sad meme section of the show and then we'll get started with some actual proper performance in a minute. but we are alive show, as well as...
H
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a podcast, so you can listen back to tonight and hear it again.
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if you'd like, and direct your friends to listen to it in the future. we're here in the [inaudible 00:08:18] labyrinth at 7:30 every day until the 30th of august.
H
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we've got some really great guest hosts, if you hate me, you'll love them.
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'cause they much better than me. who are doing various different dates, so get a flyer of us and find out what guest collaborations...
H
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we have at the comedy sketch group, casual violence doing...
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a hour of tragic violence for us in this room. and then on sunday...
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we've got, the other voices cabaret, who are going to do...
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other tragedies for us in this room on sunday. and then on monday...
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we've got guest host, [keith jarrett 00:08:56], who is a fantastic spoken word artist.
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now this show is part of the pbh free fringe, which means it's free to come into the room.
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it's also free. but when you leave, we would ask you if you can, if you could afford to pay what you think the show is worth with some donations.
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so we'd live in tragic times at the moment, we live in a politically pretty tragic times.
U
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but that means that it's also an important time to support the arts, so if you do have any money, if you could give that to us at the end of the show.
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just however much you could afford to pay, then that would be really great. not just for the arts, but also for me. 'cause i lost my job...
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a couple of years ago as a result of the cuts and now i'm a proper artist all the time, which means i have no...
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if you want me and my partner to be able to pay our rent for the rest of the year, pay wisely at the end of the show. so, yes.
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if you want to find us on facebook, you can make friends.
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with a tragedy, which is the best thing to do with tragedy.
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i think. you can also follow the tragedy on twitter @standup4tragedy. if you want to tweet about the night, use the hashtag tragic moments.
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so there we go, sadmin over the more exciting and interesting stuff is now going to start happening. so everybody-
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it's amazing to have them on. they come on like a really short notice. they did a show up-
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4:30 today, and then they came out of that and said, "yes, we'll do the slots". and that's the great stuff.
U
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i've seen them a couple of times doing slots everywhere. so i think they are very poly-slotterous.
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i think. so yes, their show is jiggly bits at 4:30 at cowgatehead from now to the-
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so, and i did, and i'd only tried it once because i got over 60,000 hits because he has one of the most common names-
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there is. so i wrote this song for each and every one of you who's ever dated an adam smith. it's called ungoogleable you.
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like a gang of them, which i guess you have to move in a gang because of astrophysicists all by himself, he'll be dead in five minutes. are you ready?
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oh, dude.that's loud.we're from berlin, we're techno.
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so i'm doing a show myself about masculinity, and 12.
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