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MSP_POD_NLP

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-i'll be like, great. dude, i'll be-
X
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Female
and the first 10 pages didn't change much, and it's had a great response, so that's kind of awesome.
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Female
but i'll plug that later. i'm going to try and do three poems.
N
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Female
just give me a shot, but i'm going to do three poems that i haven't performed in a year.
H
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i just thought that could be tragic, so-
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-that's all right. if you don't like these, then i've performed my show every day for the last 20 days-
H
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-so it's better. this first one-
H
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-these are all just stuff that seemed quite tragic.
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this first one i wrote about a year ago, and it's called ian.
H
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today i went hiking in marseille in the wrong bloody shoes.
A
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Female
somehow i seemed to miss the clues, turned french mountain climbers striding past in walking boots-
U
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-while i mooched on in a pair of broken sandals.
O
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flip, son of a bitch, flop, and shit, shit, shit.
A
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leaked the blood of regret at my lack of practical footwear onto the dusty southern track.
O
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and how you would give the world to walk that blistering hour in my broken shoes.
X
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...every day, when you wander the streets of piccadilly barefoot. and to those who say that your mountain is just another man's molehill-
A
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-i will tell them that even molehills crunch harder under the naked foot than the snow that caps-
X
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all we will ever see of this tube map-like complexity is a neat little pile of dirt at the entrance-
S
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Female
-because they are just building molehills, and we don't have time for your little mole hill because we have more important-
A
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3.363636
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Female
-i said, we have more important mountains to climb, and it's fine.
X
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Female
you stutter, as he spits warm wine at you, sat in the gutter, and mutters in broken-
X
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-english, "homeless man, why you no shoes? homeless man..."
U
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Female
but i tell you what, ian, and yes, i remember your name, ian, it's not fine.
N
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Female
because as i curse myself and my inappropriate choice of footwear at the peak of a mountain in marseille, for fuck's sake, sarah, excuse-
A
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i was there, 11:00 am, like we agreed.
S
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i never planned for the fact that you probably don't own a watch, and time for you is not a promise that in one hour-
X
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-i can rub cream into my feet and find relief in walking barefoot on the beach. no.
A
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time for you is measured only in footsteps.
X
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27 between piccadilly and the place we agreed to meet. i counted, and, ian, you do that barefoot. we're talking london streets, and london streets, as you well know, are far from paved with gold.
A
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how i wish that you had shoes for me to walk a mile in.
X
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Female
all i can say is how deeply i know that i am lucky to have walked so many in mine, and how this mountain-
U
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Female
-how this mountain is so much easier to climb.
H
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yes. do you remember what-
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we're talking about my best friends who through thick and thin keep me afloat, but i didn't want to step on-
A
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953
Female
-their toes so i sat on my words. i didn't want to rock the boat, so we avoided the issue.
N
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Female
but somehow the awkwardness seemed to entirely miss you.
U
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but you were unaware of this. you didn't even notice. not even the remotest hint of an acknowledgement of this.
A
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however often it happens, it-
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-never fails to shock me that in this day and age, people like you never see the errors of your ways.
D
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no, it wasn't a mistake. no, it's not on the wrong finger.
A
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no, it's not new age, and no, she didn't propose. no.
A
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think about it. i won't spell it out for you.
X
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Female
eventually it will come to you, and when it does, i hope it humbles you. i hope it trips you up and stumbles you. i hope it refreshes your memory and tumbles-
A
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Female
-you headfirst into the 21st century. my best friends-
A
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...to be a disappointment.
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girl, i always thought that i'd grow up into a kind of, like, pirate ninja badass, the kind of person who would genuinely wear these boots all the time.
H
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Female
but what happened is-
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i grew up and i got a job in communications and i turned into one of these people who doesn't want to make a big thing out of it. but actually if you don't get your quarterly reports in, it makes it really difficult for me to compile the sales figures.
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quit, cups of tea.
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up yours, nemesis. i will shout...
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very loudly in my head.
U
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...old one now, from a show i did a couple of years ago called, "lullabies to make your children cry."
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and it's peer reviewed by a friend of mine who actually has children. and they said, "mommy-"
H
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"why does your friend hate us?" which is, to this day, awkward at barbecues. so yeah, sorry teagan.
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anyway, this poem...
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...everyone for mel moon!
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Male
it will wow god. i tried to make it classy, it's just not for me. okay so you probably look at me now-
H
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and yeah, it's really weird to-
H
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what are you going to do about it? argue with me?
H
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well yeah, i think actually i might actually mel, shit.
U
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Female
okay, well then you can tell the kids why you killed their mother. we did find-
H
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i thought, let's get out early, eh? glad i didn't.
H
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so yeah, that did happen and that is truthful. and when you find out-
H
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it's terrible, i know. but exit, i felt quite aggressive in their advertising because you think about it. how many rooms have you been in this way with a green exit sign?
X
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you know? and then my hospital, there's an emergency exit for people. so they don't have to do the paperwork.
X
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they just get to go. and so i joined and it was so strange because...
N
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i joined for a bigger reason than just me. i'm a mum.
N
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and you heard that right. i have children.
X
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and that may evoke very strong reactions from some of you.
X
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because having children is a huge responsibility.
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i love my kids. i have two. they're 10 and four.
X
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best little kids in the world. both boys. they're not here today. they're at home.
S
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on their own because the way i see it, if you can use a playstation, which is pretty damn complicated, you can dial 999.
H
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Female
let's be real here. but everything-
H
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Female
every pain i felt physically, they felt here and do you know what? you have children.
F
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Female
you make a promise that you'll be there to look after them for the rest of your life, make sure they never fearful of anything, that they don't want for anything.
O
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what happens when you're the thing they're scared of?
X
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what happens when your 10-year-old says to you before he goes to bed, "mommy, i-"
N
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when you've made a promise, you will never lie to your children.
A
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and i was very lucky in that my dad, when i was a little girl...
H
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i had the same dream about him. and he told me that if you dream that someone's going to die, it's okay.
X
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just means you're going to get closer to that person. so i was able to tell my 10-year-old that.
N
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which is a good thing today. and i wasn't selfish.
N
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and the way i saw it is every single day they spent worrying that i was going to die was one single day they-
S
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so in my head, you rip off the bandaid and it hurts like fuck.
X
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Female
but eventually they get to play again and they will play again.
S
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and that's why i did what i did.
X
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Female
and you're really getting a condensed version here, ladies and gentlemen. i can feel the judgment.
X
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908
Female
i'll let you into a little secret about my kids though, and it's more just me. i'm from burnley, has anyone ever been to burnley?
H
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Female
poor cow. did you? actually you've got my sympathies.
N
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never mind who you are. beverly, you can't take it back now.
H
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i'll let you [inaudible 00:04:38] my kids, right, don't have the same dad. i know, from burnley as well. you fucking knew.
U
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no, when i was young...
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i started off reading voraciously as soon as i could read, grabbing-
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i could. and i was reading those things and it [inaudible 00:05:01]-
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if anyone's from that sort of era, books for kids.
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one, i don't know, it was a birthday...
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this book dropped into my life. it was a doctor who book.
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the most important cultural phenomenon perhaps ever.
X
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and this book changed my life.
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