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... i think. but on the other hand, you can see how it could very easily not be a fantasy, and it is quite tragic. so that was my best of from london.
F
5
2
3
868
Female
and as mentioned, expect poor sound quality at this point in our journey, but it will get better. yeah. here we go.
N
3.333333
3.666667
3.833333
867
Male
... by jacqueline downs performed by [libby 00:02:02] edwards.
N
4.6
4
4.2
867
Male
this and more can be found at lionsleague.com. writers-
H
5.2
5
5.2
867
Male
... i was like, "my dog died." but yeah, i don't really have any-
N
5.2
4.4
4.8
869
Female
... but we all know who did it now, so it's not really-
C
3.2
3
3.6
869
Female
... but yeah. do you know what i mean? really rubbish this. so yeah, the next song i'm going to sing. it's called plastic and it's off my ep and this is about license.
H
5
5.4
4.8
869
Female
and i'm going to play a song called louie matthews. and i wrote louie matthews about someone i stalked on facebook
X
4.6
3.6
3.8
869
Female
i don't know if you lot have facebook. i know there's not. you lucky.
F
4.6
3.4
4.2
869
Female
so i'm going to sing a song called he kissed my coccinelle. i don't often play this-
H
5.666667
5.2
5.4
869
Female
... but because this is so like, in a lovely way, singing in your living-
H
4
6.2
5
869
Female
yes, i ended up writing about him. so discord is happening again. thank you so much. [inaudible 00:02:59].
H
4.4
4.8
4.6
869
Female
given that extra theme gives that different focus to what happens and that did definitely change things. sometimes the themes were impossible to actually-
N
4
4
4
867
Male
going to put me away, they're going to put me in-
A
5.545455
2.272727
5.818182
870
Male
to his paranoia about an insignificant benefits fraud and worse-
X
3.2
2.6
3.4
870
Male
... shouldn't be here. you shouldn't be here.
A
6.4
2.8
6.6
870
Male
... asleep, but roused myself quickly in case this was something bad
F
5.6
2.8
5.6
870
Male
downstairs in his pajamas and old football manager coat, he'd given up finding the notes and made his way to the back-
N
3.8
3.8
3.6
870
Male
... garden. got a garden chair out then went back into the garage and returned with plastic bags, which she was desperately trying to stuff down his throat-
F
5.4
2.8
5
870
Male
then i had to stay outside to get mobile reception while i called an ambulance.
X
3.8
2.8
4.2
870
Male
i had to disarm him of that before he could cut his own throat in front of me.
X
5.4
3.2
5.4
870
Male
then when he tried to get up again-
N
4
4
3.6
870
Male
... punched him in the guts and threatened him with a beating to stop him from killing himself.
X
5.4
2.6
5.2
870
Male
and they persuaded him to go back to the ward.
N
3.4
4
4.6
870
Male
i didn't realize then that in what manner i'd touched him-
U
3.8
4.4
5
870
Male
exhausted and angry, i phoned my granddad, then 90, to come and look after mum and decided that yeah-
A
4.916667
3.166667
4.916667
870
Male
i would catch the train i'd booked to the hotel.
X
5.6
4.3
5.4
870
Male
i'd booked in manchester and would shag-
H
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4.8
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Male
... the nice 22 year old girl i'd met up there while touring my show.
H
4.6
5.2
4.8
870
Male
should i have gone in the ambulance with my dad like the police wanted?
S
3.8
3
4.2
870
Male
i still don't think it would've made any difference.
N
3.8
3.2
4.2
870
Male
life is a constant series of decisions between spending your life ameliorating present mis-
H
5.4
5
5.2
870
Male
... misery or chasing the chance of future happiness-
F
4.8
4.2
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870
Male
... no matter how slim the chances, and she was a real goer.
H
5.416667
5.25
5.333333
870
Male
my dad was in and out of hospital.
S
4.8
3.2
5.2
870
Male
under and out from section-
S
3
3
4.2
870
Male
... crimper, then returned with a knife and tried to cut his throat again.
X
3.4
3.4
4.2
870
Male
apparently this time he got a formidable scar.
X
4.8
4.2
5.2
870
Male
so i could tell myself that this was another cry for help. the fourth.
S
5
3.6
4.2
870
Male
i talked to him on the phone and told him he didn't have to worry about money or anything.
X
4.2
4.2
4.6
870
Male
we take care of mum to remove the pressure from him.
X
4.6
4.2
4.8
870
Male
he was even more unresponsive than before.
S
2.8
2.8
4.2
870
Male
but i thought due to our fractious history, it might be best if i stayed away.
C
5.6
3.6
5.4
870
Male
he'd never taken any advice from anyone while he was well, except for from the daily mail.
X
5.2
4
5.4
870
Male
so if he did recover, it wouldn't be thanks to me. if he didn't-
X
3.6
3.6
4.4
870
Male
well, i didn't want to remember him as being in a hospital.
S
3.6
4
3.8
870
Male
i didn't want madness, sadness to run my life.
S
4.6
3.4
4.2
870
Male
so i went to sardinia as i planned to flee the darkness of winter.
F
4.4
3.6
5
870
Male
on 9th of december, my sister sent me an encouraging picture of the folks decorating the tree. on monday, the 17th of december-
H
4.8
5.2
4.4
870
Male
i'd been drinking exclusively heavily in the youth hostel-
X
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4.8
870
Male
... bar cagliari. watching from the sidelines as some locals did traditional singing and dancing with no news being good news.
H
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5
5
870
Male
i'd already decided to come back for christmas, booked-
N
4.2
4.2
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870
Male
... my flight for the next day. then i checked emails.
N
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870
Male
my sister wanted me to phone her.
N
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Male
i typed, "oh, he's not gone back into the hospital again, has he? you better email me what's happened."
H
5.6
4
5.8
870
Male
it felt like the bottom had fallen out of the world.
X
3.6
3.6
3.8
870
Male
i thought i was going to be sick. but-
X
3.4
3.4
4.2
870
Male
... visited my sister on sunday and recklessly, put his hand in a drain filled with drain unblocker without gloves, but at least he'd wanted to help.
X
4.8
4.4
5
870
Male
he'd quietly watched bbc sports personality of the year with my mum before going to bed.
C
4.2
4
3.8
870
Male
that monday morning, nurses were supposed to have come around to assess mom's care needs.
H
4.7
3.6
4.8
870
Male
my sister came round early to meet them, and instead-
H
4.6
4.2
5
870
Male
i imagine him again because i wasn't there.
S
4.6
4
5
870
Male
so let's portray him in detail and exhibit-
N
4.8
5.8
5
870
Male
... so i can finally cut him down.
X
3.4
2.8
4.8
870
Male
the plastic curtain cord speaks of improvisation but not snapping.
N
4.818182
4.909091
4.727273
870
Male
he must have risen early, not manic.
X
4.4
3.4
3.8
870
Male
his silk effect pajamas clean.
X
4.8
3.8
4.8
870
Male
the 35 year old banisters held him-
N
5
3.8
4.8
870
Male
... in an impossible position.
X
3.8
3.4
4.2
870
Male
facing the wall as if weeping.
F
3.8
3.6
4.6
870
Male
his face gray as his hair yet peaceful.
S
3
4
4
870
Male
there would have been kicking-
C
3.4
2.8
3.6
870
Male
... but not enough to wake anyone.
X
4
3.8
4.2
870
Male
i do wonder if he thought about who would find him dangling like a christmas decoration.
S
3.6
2.4
3
870
Male
a memory to be brought out.
N
3.6
3.6
4.8
870
Male
every year, every year.
N
2.666667
3.166667
4
870
Male
my sister had to find the neighbor. go upstairs.
N
4.6
4.8
5.4
870
Male
wake my mum and making sure she got downstairs to the neighbors without once looking back at him like lot's wife in reverse.
X
5
4.4
4.8
870
Male
thankfully, she managed it.
U
2.8
3.2
3.4
870
Male
the ambulance service actually asked her to cut him down with a pair of scissors.
U
4.2
3.4
4.6
870
Male
which seems a little insensitive-
S
3.6
3.6
3.4
870
Male
and given the metal within a plastic cord thing, also ignorant to materials, sciences.
N
3
4
4
870
Male
back i say, it should have been the worst christmas ever.
D
4.2
2.6
3.8
870
Male
but it wasn't because-
N
4.6
3.8
4.8
870
Male
if nothing else, christmas that year was certainly purposeful.
H
5.2
5.2
5.8
870
Male
my austrian sister returned and we fell upon administrative tasks with two tonic gusto.
N
2.4
3.4
3.2
870
Male
strange relief from thinking about what had happened. our christmas list that year was spartan-
S
4
3.6
4.4
870
Male
coroner's report, death certificate-
N
2.6
2.8
4.6
870
Male
but the most important task was to cheer mum up and take her mind off it. and that-
X
4.8
4.6
5
870
Male
well, the dementia helped.
C
3.8
3.2
4.4
870
Male
on christmas day, we, me, my austrian sister, mum, brother-
X
4.818182
4.727273
4.818182
870
Male
like non-austrian sisters who cooked the best christmas meal-
H
5.272727
5.818182
5.272727
870
Male
ever. roast turkey, yorkies, cheesy leaks and red cabbage-
H
4.8
4
4.8
870
Male
roasted onion, sweet potato mash in asparagus, neeps and tatties, pigs in a blanket, my sister went to-
X
6
2.8
5.4
870
Male
bit crazy. the crackers, hats, and fine wines from-
N
3
3.4
3.6
870
Male
of course, you cried. my mum's always been-
S
3.4
2.4
3.8
870
Male
lachrymose, but they were good tears. tears-
S
4.6
4
4.6
870
Male
the relief, the madness had not-
S
4.4
3.8
4.8
870
Male
spoiled christmas. the spaniels didn't quite lick them off-
N
3.6
3.8
4.6
870
Male
per cheek, but they could have done. it was almost-
N
3.4
3.6
4.4
870
Male