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MSP_POD_NLP

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... keeping engaging with that, and keeping my eye on what dave's doing, and pushing you towards that. so, if you want to follow me on twitter-
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... gray. and i'm also on linkedin, which i'm told is not cool.
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it ain't cool.it is cool. you can also find me on linkedin, if you want to know more about me. and academically, it's cool.
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... of your specials with stand up tragedy. you will always be special to stand up tragedy.
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... as well as in autumn. but i wouldn't want to see autumn go away. i would be sad about that. so-
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... right. so we're going to have three more performers doing some tragedy around the concept of tragic fall.
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the first one of them, you can find him @jamesharrisnow on twitter. put your hands together everyone, for-
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okay. language learning in this country is, it seems dead.
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it means, to understand everything is to forgive everything.
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about 12 years ago, i was working for social services in nottingham. and i have to be honest-
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... a lot of my wages were taken up by the bus ride to work.
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i couldn't drive. and after i had rearranged their entire filing cabinet system, which hadn't been done since the 1980s-
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... there wasn't really much for me to do, except sit at my desk and pretend-
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and it struck me, as i heard the woodpecker, that a few months earlier-
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... i had been a high flying graduate in an elite university.
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i had performed with great distinction in my exams.
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i was the president of the university sketch society-
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... and i had a beautiful girlfriend.
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i had dropped out of my university due to academic difficulties.
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my sketch review show had been marked by several hundred people walking out.
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you hear something you said in the past, and you literally cannot believe that you said it.
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you cannot believe that you were ever so innocent as to be able to say something like that.
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because since then, i have both left and been left in a great many relationships.
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in fact, i worked out recently that it is now exactly 50/50.
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so you could say, folks, that the next one is the tiebreaker.
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i actually find the idea that you couldn't survive a relationship-
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... that you couldn't live without someone, rather charming.
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i imagine sort of going to see my friend in the pub, like-
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"hey steve, how are ya? where's dave?" and he's like, "oh yeah-"
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"dave died. yeah. mandy left him."
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"she walked out the door, he died instantly."
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"complete heart failure, that's how it happened."
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"he just couldn't live without her." reminds me of a line of the poet w.h. auden, which is, "millions have lived without love. not one without water."
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what i'm talking about here is a loss of innocence, a loss of innocence-
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this is, the loss of innocence is of course called the fall. it goes right the way back to the garden of eden, and the fall, as i'm sure you all know, was a decision of adam and eve to eat-
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... the apple. now, first of all, i have some objections.
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if god had not wanted them to eat-
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i mean, the apple is no use to god.
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the apple of knowledge, god already knows everything anyway.
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if god eats the apple of knowledge, he's just hungry, whereas adam and eve-
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... it is of course in their nature to eat the apple because they're human and they're curious. if they weren't-
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so i think that growing up is inevitably-
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... a fall. growing up is inevitably a loss of innocence.
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and there are people who refuse this. there are people who refuse this loss of innocence.
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i'm thinking about people like the 18th century-
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he was so upset when he was exposed as a literary fraud.
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he drank arsenic at the age of 17.
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exactly. or the writer, john kennedy toole, right? he was so upset that someone had refused for publication-
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... his novel, a confederacy of dunces that he committed suicide at the age of 31.
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... a very different individual, because he would have gone on and he would have compromised. so what i'm saying is this loss of innocence is part of survival, and-
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let's say you have a chat with me after the show.
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i think you might find that i'm, and i would like to, obviously. i will be hanging around.
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i think you might find that i'm quite a cynical individual and it's true.
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i am rather cynical. i don't believe in much. i don't believe in jeremy corbyn.
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i don't believe in marriage and children.
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i don't even particularly believe in what i'm saying now.
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i don't have many great beliefs, okay? but what i'm saying is, if you understood what had preceded this, if you had understood everything that had happened to me-
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... you would understand why i am like i am. and there is no alternative to be me being like i am or not being here at all.
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that's the only other option. to exist, to survive, is to fall.
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i wrote a poem a few years ago, which expresses this, and i do actually believe this is quite a good poem.
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so i'm going to say that poem now. the poem is called the wilderness. the wilderness.
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you helped me through the death of friends. because of you-
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... the wilderness and thoughts of love.
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so, i'm happy to say that 12 years later i am in a much better situation.
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... i've been working on for many years. by finished, i mean it has to be massively written still, but-
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... it's a relative situation, and i'm genuinely glad to have carried on, but i've never recovered-
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...the innocence, which i lost at that time. that has never come back to me because i could always see in my head-
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... the image of that person working for social services-
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... looking out on the garden at the woodpecker, going-
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... the coming of wisdom with time,
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though leaves are many. the root is one.
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he is obviously, he's a writer, he's also a comedian, he does lots of things, you should check out what he does. right. okay. so our next performer of tr-
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sometimes you just have to have these awkward moments on stages with loads of people looking at you.
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... isn't going to fall off... you know?
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... thanks. ah, thanks for that great sales pitch. can i just, i just want to thank you for that because... whatever. how are you doing?
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... stable ground of absolute zero where we can-
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... and find the beauty. the problem with me right now with this gig is i'm really happy. i'm really-
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... in happy. that's very emotionally needy, but i am very happy, okay?
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one of those great dutch bonding experiences that you have with the elderly relative about class a drugs.
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if you don't know what that is, i'll sort of [inaudible 00:06:36] that for you too. this happened-
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... about five years ago, i was living in brighton then, and two things happened at the same time. one-
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the first snowflake of the year came tumbling down.
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... and i saw a pound coin on the floor.
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and i picked it up.
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i hope you like it. i hope you jump down and your head just blows off and hits a horse in the face and then six elderly japanese touri-
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no, actually you've been very, very nice. you're busy going... a man over there.
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... is literally sleeping on his girlfriend's shoulder. hello, sir. good morning.
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think about that. it's not japan in 1998. come on.
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[inaudible 00:07:27] characters now i've had [inaudible 00:07:28].
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i am going to tell you a story now, and it is a story-
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... in through the window, turning the edges of everything gray with a reminder that-
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oh, look, it's daytime outside and other people are starting their lives and you guys are-
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i felt worn out, and i was getting ready to admit social defeat when my old friend looked at me, yawned and said-
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"so, are you ready to take me home yet?"
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at 6:00 am, i pretty much always am. so he left first to avoid arousing suspicion, and that is-
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leo. the older gentleman hosting the party.
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he was generous. he was a good man and his children, just like the much younger women who frequently followed him into bathrooms would want-
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... started to kick in at this point, so there was rapid nudity and mouth stuff done through dangerously grinding teeth. and then i climbed on top-
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... of him and i pressed my face into his neck. when i pulled away, i saw blood. lots of-
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... up in his eyes, focused just long enough for him to see that i was telling the truth-
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