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MSP_POD_NLP

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" it, because again, there are different types of housewives."
N
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" housewives like the one we see on television, who are out to lunch and arguing with each other all the time "
D
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", more important to me is to support. "
N
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..women's work. for that to be a real option for women, for that to not be devalued in society and for women to feel...
S
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...supported in their choice to do that and to have tools to do that.
X
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saying that, i don't think i finished my sentence.
N
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...my life, let's say at the beginning of my marriage...
S
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" i have children that i would want to be a housewife, i always kind of knew that in my mind. "
N
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" so i got married and that was somewhat my life of being a housewife. and then, because "
H
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" we're not living together at this point we were living. "
N
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...but we're trying to move so we're kind of back and forth at this point.
N
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" so my life isn't settled to a point yet where, i wouldn't necessarily say i was a housewife now because "
N
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" we're not even in the same place. "
N
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" but nevertheless, i knew i wanted to be a housewife, and for the first six months of my marriage and where you were living in the same place, that's what i was "
A
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". i was a housewife. and he was doing what he could do to support our household."
N
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" even though that was a choice i made. "
X
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i never received the skillset to be a successful housewife in the way that i wanted to be a housewife.
S
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...and a cook. you know? i'm the housewife that needs to know how to clean and cook and be a supportive wife and all of that.
X
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" so even the women who may choose or may want to be housewives, don't have not always support "
X
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...how to quote-unquote learn on the job how to be a decent housewife. and for me and sean [inaudible 00:05:14] when i have a child...
N
3
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" to clean a household, how to be a supportive wife and issue wants to pursue a career, then "
X
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" pursue a career. and she could, "
N
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" let's go beyond the individual. "
N
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beyond the individual and our society...
X
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" there are not enough women. now we can say there are not enough people, "
X
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" but women were doing this job.so there are not enough women anymore who are, "
X
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" which means there are not enough people who are focusing on their household "
N
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...most people in our society because most women now work and obviously men, most men have always worked...
N
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", are not focused primarily on child-rearing nor focused primarily on their household. now that's not to say that you can't get "
O
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" by, but it does mean that it is very difficult to create a thriving household. it's very difficult for your house to be as clean as it would be if you were "
S
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...housewife. it's difficult to be as aware of what your children are getting into if you're not a housewife.
X
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" difficult to be aware of your husband and his emotions and his stress, and being able to comfort him and be there for him. "
S
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" if you are not a housewife, if you're working outside the "
C
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" home, it is more difficult to do "
S
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" that.but we live in a society that "
S
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" wants us to lie to ourselves and wants us to believe that if you're working outside of the home, or if you are focused on your household, "
A
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it's all equal and it's not all equal. but you know what? it's okay.
S
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" it's all equal. that's what i don't understand, the point to me is not about saying "
S
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" it's equal. it should be about saying, you know what? "
C
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" men who are not cut out or don't want to be home with a "
A
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...young baby. they don't want to. they would rather put their child in the nursery.
X
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they would rather leave the child with a nanny. they would rather leave the child with their grandparent while they go and pursue a career or a degree.
N
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", but i am saying don't pretend as if that is equal to a woman who was home all day with her children."
X
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" and at the same time, let's not pretend like all mothers who are home with their children, "
C
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cooking homemade meals for their children, there are some mothers who are still going to be getting those easy meals or ordering out. there's some mothers who are going to....
N
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" the name of the book "
X
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" between being there with your child and not being there, but "
S
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" for some reason "
S
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" in your office and out your office and your travel time "
N
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oh. let's just add on one hour and you're getting ready and all of that.
N
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nine hours a day away from your household, away from your children. don't pretend as if that's the same as being there with them.
S
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they stub their toe. you're at home. you have an opportunity to notice even if you were watching the tv. as soon as they stub their toe and say ow, you hear.
N
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" depends "
H
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". there's also another layer of what kind of work do you do as one woman sat, i think she was the assistant of president george bush, "
X
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and for me, there's nothing more true than that. there really isn't because if you don't have flexibility over your own...
S
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" or you go to work "
X
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...you can't really attend to the kid or you just have to go to work, hope the kid will be okay and meet them when you get home.
S
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".that is your choice, but don't pretend as if that's the same "
N
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" attend to them. she can, because again, not all mothers who stay at home are the same one mother may attend "
H
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" to her child, the other mother may ignore her child "
S
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but you have the opportunity to be there. being there is not the same as not being there.
X
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". i really don't get what is the "
U
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". and i definitely understand that people don't want to get into women blaming you don't want to "
X
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" blame women for the way children turn out, you don't want to blame women too harshly, and "
N
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" we get that, but maybe i'm just "
H
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" able to emotionally detach some things where it's like, i think you can understand that while still knowing that being bears different from not being there "
H
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" offensive to stay. "
N
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i mean obviously, it does offend some people.
N
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" but to me, i don't think that should be offensive "
U
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". i also want to say that "
X
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thinking that a woman who works especially working in a job, that's not flexible...
N
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" can't just attend to her child's every need "
C
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" thinking that is not, "
H
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...as effective or as beneficial of a way to parent, as someone who is there and can be available to that child...
N
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" i don't think that means "
X
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".i don't know. no, i don't really know how "
U
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" you put it quite because it's like, in one sense, "
S
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" you're single mother or you married someone that can't take care of you and your child and you have to help him "
O
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...whatever the case is and you find yourself economically or socially pressured to work.
X
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you had a child on your own so you would have to be the only one supporting them.
S
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". or you married someone who you knew couldn't support you "
X
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well, yeah. i guess you would have to blame yourself to some degree but you...
H
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". you can also still blame the man "
S
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" there is blame to go around in the sense that "
X
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" living in a society that forces women to work "
A
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" again when they feel socially or economically pressured to do so, "
C
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...like some european societies or i think it's sweden or something...
N
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" [inaudible 00:09:18] she's going to work. the society is supporting her, taking time off to spend time with her child. and then as she chooses that she wants to "
H
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" continue to be with her child, she can do so. and guess what? the society, "
C
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" they still supports her because they're going to have "
X
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". it's a real choice, when no matter what choice you make, you're being supported. it's "
N
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" not a real choice when you are being economically and socially pressured to do one thing. and you're being discouraged from doing the other thing that is not a real choice "
A
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so when women say they choose to work,
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i hope that they're really thinking about the fact of: could they choose not to work?
O
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do they not feel economically and socially pressured to work? if you can choose not to work...
N
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...and you have chosen to work. if you can honestly choose not to work, if you are honestly saying...
S
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i love my kids.
S
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they're extremely important in my life, but,
X
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...i like working and making money also. so i am more than fine with making the sacrifices of not seeing them eight to 10 hours a day.
N
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with them, then i will do the best i can,
H
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