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but i am more than happy to take some time for myself to make some money. if that is honestly a choice,
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like it's completely fine, if that's your choice. now to ask people who are...
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but you need people who.
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feel this guilt and they want it to be turned off by people who are supporting and valuing women's work,
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saying, "oh, the choice of you working, that's completely equal to women who stay at home." it's not equal.
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[crosstalk 00:01:08] no, it means that you two are making
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different choices. and so, and part of the...
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when we were younger,
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so i kind of, i really wanted to...
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see i guess this is the psychology part of me.
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i really wanted to get the honest, most basic level answer of why she made that decision, because i feel like a lot of people,
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they may or may not have had to work when you dig deep. so anyway, i was trying
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to do that with my mom
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and so she basically told me it wasn't that my dad could not afford to take care of us,
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whatever it was. she didn't want to always have to ask him for money because she didn't want to always have to report to him
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and have a discussion about why did this cost x and why did this cost y.
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and that really was the heart of it. she wanted to
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have financial independence to some degree.
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and so that was her choice. and i
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asked her, "okay, so what... did you feel like that was worth the sacrifice of being away from your kids for
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however many number of hours a day?"
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and that doesn't mean that's what i have to think is best for my life, it doesn't mean i have to think that
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she made the choice that she made.
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and i think if you can actually boil it down to that, if you
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can say, "if i didn't want to work,
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my husband would be able to support me."
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saying, you know, "my name is so-and-so and i'm a housewife." or when people ask me if i work,
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people would judge me. so then you kind of know if there's a social pressure element as well.
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and all of these things are important when we're making decisions as women, but the problem
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is we don't actually get to make these decisions.
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[crosstalk 00:03:24] make your own decision based on that, but you're kind of late to
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that you should be on a pursuit to some kind of career. and then someone gives you the idea of being a housewife. that would be... that would sound really foreign.
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what are you going to study? what do you want to be? and they're all talking about career.
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[crosstalk 00:03:44] instructor of this podcast very well, so just respond.
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but i just think it's really important that
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i continue to talk about the value of traditional women's
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work. i mean, that is one of the most important things to me right now. the value of
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traditional women's work in traditional women's roles.
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[crosstalk 00:04:10] i mean, i hate that word, but
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is it probably more practical?
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i mean, i suppose, you know, i...
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[crosstalk 00:04:22] materialistic. i'm trying to learn a lot about minimalism as well.
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and so the idea of needing it,
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but i do doubt that that's true for the majority of people or for...
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you read a couple of minimalists books and then become a real fanatic and decide, you know what, i'm going minimalism. i'm just going to live on my bare necessities. and maybe
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a few of the things that i love.
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would you really still need two incomes?
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i mean, how much money do we waste?
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instead of saying, "okay, this is our budget
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and my husband is making $30,000, but we need to make $50,000 to cover all of our expenses
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a year jobs so that we can make ends meet."
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yeah, that's one way of doing it. the [crosstalk 00:05:18]
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[crosstalk 00:05:19] but not enough, not... there aren't a lot of women who have that skill anymore to say, "how can i
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sing skill in our society?"
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so i think it's a value for us to talk more about that, to discuss more of how you could possibly make it on a one income house.
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and so that, that also becomes a part of the conversation with
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discussing the value of women's work and talking about housewifery and homemaking.
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and i think there's something to be said about
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connect it with something that i think is already apparent, which is that for example, in [crosstalk 00:06:04].
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she talks about the way in which, i mean, this should be apparent
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to all of us in life in general was just from
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[crosstalk 00:06:12] relationships are extremely important to women, to the point where we will put relationship over principle a lot of the time.
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quote unquote principal, because if it's like the man's world view
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where he may be going by a particular logic,
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and then there's something in the woman's intuition that says,
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"i don't think we should do that." and she could be right. not
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to say that we're always right, but she could very well
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be right. and it's not necessarily based on some logic or some rule
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where there is a chemist who's selling this drug and he's selling it very expensive. it's a life-saving drug. someone comes in to buy it
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and they can't afford it.
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they always discussed the principle. well, you shouldn't
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take anyone's property. well, you shouldn't take advantage of people who don't have less. some kind of
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principle. whereas women think,
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but he won't actually be able to spend time with his wife, or some
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other women will say, well, we don't know why the
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[crosstalk 00:07:26] family back at home. so women are,
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a unique skill that we have. and it is also, we can almost think about it as
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is unseen work. no one can really say if a mother is good or not good, we just
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oh, you're saving lives, you're such a great person, you're such a great doctor,
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human being. that's not so great out in the world.
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you can assume they maybe didn't have such a great child-rearing by their mother. and people get very sensitive about that. don't blame the mother, it's not her, but it's
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about taking responsibility. and again, you take
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responsibility for the good and the bad,
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but i think this is a part of it, is that people don't want to blame women, they don't want
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overly responsible, and there's no doubt that other factors
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will play a role, but we also have to realize that in downplaying the blame of mother and the responsibility of mother...
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so if i... if one mother is spending
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twenty hours a day, well not twenty hours a day,
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sixteen hours a day with her children and the other mother is spending eight hours a day with her children, to say that they are equal is to say that...
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i can't buy it to that. to say that both women have a choice for their own life and to make their life whatever they want it to be. of course they
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do. of course they do. and if they want to make the choice to work based on whatever their circumstance. for my mother,
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she wanted some economic independence, for another woman she may
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love her career, for another woman
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she just doesn't want to be with kids all day, every day. it's okay.
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it's important of course, to not offend people,
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but it's also important to speak the truth clearly, and to not water down your message. and so, [crosstalk 00:09:44]
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and not so that they become housewives, that's their choice.
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and i would not recommend anyone to be a housewife because that is a personal choice only.
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you know your life, and if that would work for you.
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...value women's work as much as they value a title and a career.
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