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MSP_POD_NLP

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obviously a part of it could be the breakdown in the family that happened in the seventies. so there weren't a lot of men even there to teach their sons-
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or even there to be an example of a man take-
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i'm not immune to this at all. then we have this idea that basically-
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the marriage will go smoothly. and once you're not, then well break up because that's what marriage is all about-
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and so we don't put the time and attention and the strength into-
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or teach people, how to have strength into keeping-
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keeping the marriage together-
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but also what i'll talk about in the next episode is-
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prerequisite is love. i think that is precisely what ruins a lot of our marriages because you get married-
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and you realize, all love is-
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just a basic skillset into our marriages. we would be a lot better prepared. like for example, i think that a lot-
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don't realize that men still really value cooking and cleaning.
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like we think that, you know, this is the 21st century
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we can all share the cooking cleaning. and the reality is that a lot of men still value that. a lot of men-
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expect to come home to a home-cooked meal. now, to me if you are work-
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be yours, kind of naturally, if you're home-
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cooking and cleaning and taking care of the children. but if you are working, then all the other responsibilities should really be-
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but any way, i think that to me a lot of women don't learn-
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something that a lot of men don't realize is that a lot of women still want a provider. and that means even if she does work. so women-
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tend to marry, tend to want to marry men who make more than them-
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i may not be able to link it, but-
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so this idea of men being provider-
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and the man's idea of a woman being-
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these are just a couple practical ideas-
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that i had about how we can teach our daughters to be resilient and resourceful instead of afraid and in fear of divorce. so one-
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spoke about in detail is to actually try and teach our daughters how to have-
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good marriages and, i don't know, it would be wonderful-
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the nation of islam had courses like this. and as i've said before-
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it's unfortunate that a lot of muslims, black muslims in particular-
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threw out the baby with the bath water, because there was so much-
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what have we done for our community. i mean-
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you know, i wasn't alive when the noa was strong, i know-
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i know that if you look back 50 years from now-
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what have we done for our community? even-
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what's happening. i'm just sort of putting the idea out there and others have as well. and i know that some-
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communities, i'm sure, to have-
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more global to create some kind of model, some kind of prophetic model, whatever-
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you want to call it, that we'll teach-
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to be married at the most basic level. and what i mean by that is that teaching-
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take honor and pride in providing for their family, etcetera-
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course will teach how to more practical, not more practical, teaching practical skills
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like how to financially run a household. so maybe how to budget, how to deal with emotional issues, etcetera-
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just things that would prepare people to-
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because at this point we just don't. as people from my generation, probably the-
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we'll be married for 50, 60, 70 years until death do them part. whereas-
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for people in my generation and as i spoke about in the blog post-
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so i think the more divorce that we see around, the more that it becomes an option, the more that it becomes easier to not work things-
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... obtain any skill set, you read a few books, if you're fortunate-
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... most of which are not really preparing for anything, but it's just to have some common knowledge in society-
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... but how is it that we spend that much time to prepare for a-
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... job? even if you want to just look at the four years we spend in undergraduate,-
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... you could go to a higher level. even if you want to look-
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... [inaudible 00:00:38] that, that was a valuable part of life, and somehow try to train them to-
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... our daughters and sons, but we're just talking about daughters in particular.
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if we're fearing divorce, why not focus on trying to be married as best as possible, and before that-
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... focusing on who to marry.
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is that we should teach our daughters to be-
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and this ties into what i was saying before about teaching-
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... our daughters how to be-
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... wives as an actual skill-
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for example, i think a lot of the times we think that modernity has saved us from a lot of things that house-
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... wives would have done in the past, or that the role of a housewife is not as valuable. but i think in some-
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... ways it's actually more valuable than ever, because of the fact that we've realized-
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... that modernity hasn't improved our lives in a lot of-
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... ways. it may have made things faster and cheaper-
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... but it hasn't made it-
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fast food or fast clothes, and many other things. the-
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... quality is not high-end. workers are getting paid poor wages. the food is making-
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so that if you are a woman who learns the skillset of-
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... making nutritious, healthy-
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... home-cooked meals, then that is a wonderful skill set to offer.
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and knowledge to offer within a marriage and not... money is not the only-
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... is making the money. does it make him-
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... she can also add value with her warmth, her-
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... spirit, her cooking, her organizing, her child-rearing in taking care of the kids.
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and she shouldn't see herself, and we shouldn't see women as they are dependent, and the man as independent, because he has a job.
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as it's called teaching our daughters to be resilient, resourceful, and unafraid.
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i hope you'll comment on the post and tell me what you think.
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and thank you for listening. take care.
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hello, and welcome to in the days of [nor 00:02:41], with me, nor, where we talk about islamic-related topics and social issues.
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today we're going to be discussing the topic of domestic violence.
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he has a blog called abu amina-
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[inaudible 00:03:00] one because it's more common that men physically abuse women, as well as it being more dangerous, and-
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... easy for a woman too, but it's just a bit more straightforward. so, if a woman was to hit her husband, it'd be very easy for him to leave that relationship-
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... habiba bint sahl reported, she was the wife of thabit ibn qays,-
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... i think it's pronounced. and in the morning-
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... she said, "i am habiba bint sahl"-
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... the prophet, excuse me, habiba bint sahl... the prophet said-
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... "this is habiba", and she has mentioned whatever alliance will fail to mention.
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it's said that thabit has struck her. so let me read the other narration that makes it more clear that that is the case.
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[inaudible 00:03:58] i hope i can find it quickly. okay.
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... was the wife of thabit ibn qays and it was mentioned to the messenger of allah [inaudible 00:04:07] that they were married and she was his neighbor.
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thabit [inaudible 00:04:13] and said "thabit and i can no longer be married."
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thabit take what she owes you and let her go.
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so in this hadith we see-
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... very clearly that a woman experienced domestic violence and we don't know the extent of it, right?
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it seems, just from the hadith that it was one blow, whatever it was, a punch or-
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... hit, he could divorce. it may not be the case, that may not be the case-
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... for what it appears in the hadith, but what is clear is that there was some-
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... harm of some kind, some kind of physical harm-
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