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MSP_POD_NLP

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...and the last line just read-
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...death certificates. and we couldn't tick that box.
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...we'd never been in any doubt that the mummy was dead.
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but they couldn't burn unless the bureaucratic process was fulfilled. so-
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so then we had to drive from, we went from gp surgery to gp surgery, trying to find anyone who was qualified to complete a death certificate.
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...and doctors, unlike crematorium stuff,-
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do not like the routine of their days interrupted by zany museum stories.
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so they kept moving us along. and the sun beat down on the big blue fun bus turned into an oven and in the boot-
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...the mummy was suppurating and the yellow liquid was pooling and pouring out of the black bin bags. and inside the van, the air was turning from rancid-
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...to unbearable. we would have to park up every 20 or so meters to go staggering out and-
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...get a fresh lung full of air.
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we did find someone who filled in the certificate. they wafted a stethoscope in the vague direction of the bin bags. and then we went back to the crematorium-
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...the funeral pyres were fired up and we scattered the mummies actions to the winds.
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the museum's closed down now. there's your tragedy.
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there was successive years of council cuts. and culture's a very easy offering on the altar of austerity.
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maybe the tax payers shouldn't be paying for rivets and fiberglass pillar boxes and-
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... and if i really wanted to leave you in that tragic space, i'd stop.
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i'm quite interested in education and kind of tying in with a theme of tragedy,-
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...our current education secretary, nicky morgan, has this rhetoric that she trips out quite a lot about the idea of gcse students studying arts and humanities subjects.
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she says that if you are 15 years old and you choose to study in arts and humanities,-
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...and i kind of think that, without wanting to be melodramatic about it, to say that sort of thing to a 14 year old, who just wants to study art because he likes art or wants to study music, because she likes music-
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...is really mean and really cruel. and so i wrote a poem about it and it's called held back by nicky morgan.
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the lights have come up. empty plastic wine glasses litter the floor.
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i'm in the bar next door, trying to calm down,-
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...no it's my job. "no way", he says. "you get paid for this?".
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"there are kids starving in the world and whilst we pay our taxes,"-
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"...you ponce about on stage". his argument is nonsensical and it's flawed-
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... and it's not like i haven't heard it before, it's just that this time it seems to hurt harder and sting faster because now, nicky-
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...this isn't a real job. so i walk away.
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i swallow my reply, not thinking about the three hours-
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...friends canceled on. to finish work that couldn't wait. every funding application scrawled across and the-
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...unfortunately replies. the clock at midnight, when we've still not got something we can agree is right. all the bags under our eyes, when i say, let's just go through this one more time. all the days disappeared into nights trying to learn it line for line and all of that.
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for [nikki morgan 00:00:12] to tell me the choices i have made will hold me back for the rest of my life.
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promote science, please do, and maths and technology and engineering.
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they're important and have their own issues, but in the rare position that you hold where young people might actually listen to you, don't write off [inaudible 00:00:30] as something so crucial to our day-
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...to day. don't insult the teachers alongside the facts and the figures, teacher's stories and the sounds and the pictures and the message. do something you-
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... love and work hard at it, whatever it is. don't make some broad brush statement about arts and humanities limiting somebody's life choices.
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because you're the mother of the girl at my school who said, "don't go to university and study creative writing."
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"nobody makes a living from being a writer. you'll end up in some dead end job wishing you'd done maths." so she did maths, and she was good at it. and she became an accountant. and i saw her on a train last tuesday. and she says-
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... she earns 60 grand a year and wakes up most days fighting the urge to top herself.
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she says, "well, it's a nice hobby, isn't it? but is that really how you want to spend your spare time, getting up at 05:00 just to write?" anyway-
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... you make it sound like something dirty, to be done in garages and attic-
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... rooms, the occasional run down, funding starved library, not something that-
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... through history. from the fingerprint molded shapes in the walls of caves to the plays that brought culture to the day-
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... to day peasant and drunkard in the theater pits. every fear and anger fueled war poet, from charge to the light brigade to seek
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[inaudible 00:01:37], how else would we have taught world war one in the days before youtube. the teenage girl terrified in a german attic room and every child who had empathy from a book that teaches strength and courage against the worst-
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... of enemies. the poem that attacked a stuck up, out of touch politician, and the pints raised in recognition at the stories told by-
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... folk musicians. the boy wrapped up in autism who struggles to communicate through emotion-
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... but can tell you how he feels, the color and sound. or the refugee too scared-
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... to speak who finds words on the lips of hip hop artists, begins writing her own lyrics and discovers what her-
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belittle this. by all means, stand at your lectern, and spout the opinions you think will when you votes like they-
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... all do. but don't fear monger, and don't-
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... guilt trip. don't tell the 14 year old with a form to fill in that if you love what-
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... you do, there was ever any reason to stop.
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... more piece. i forgot that when dave asked me to do this gig, i promised to bring my whole-
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... band along. and i just remembered now. and luckily, scott, who is my guitarist, did have-
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... his guitar. so we're going to do quite a sort of stripped back version of one of the pieces from-
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how much she hates sports. she just wants to play the violin and that's fine. because-
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"yeah," he says, "imagine it. the heat, the girls-"
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they are whooping coughing, whistling, high-fiving, and this goes on for minutes.
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... card, and his female supervisor is laughing along, catching every word. and the boy, he has completely forgotten-
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i've lost the volume like that dream when someone grabs you and you're screaming-
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... but there's nothing but silence in your mouth. and i want to shout, "i am sorry."
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she has stopped and looked around and now she is looking down saying, "well, i-
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that was a great show. i also love it.
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next one?yeah.my next pick, scottish harp player. again, another performer-
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been great. managed to get her twice at edinburgh. we didn't manage to get her this year. so my next pick, it's an act that we met in edinburgh this-
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later, you invited me for tea-
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... sat there quite politely with your extended family.
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maybe i'll pick up some moomin fans. i salute you now as leader of the new religion.
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it turns out there aren't just some moomin fans, there are moomin fans-
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... that turn up 20 minutes early and sit. and i got pulled up-
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it's called the boy with the moomin tattoo. my tattoo is in fact of snufkin. and i had someone pull me up, go "that's not a moomin tattoo," and get really angry because-
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i had to go like, "i got it wrong and didn't come to see it." so, in the interest of this-
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i'm going to read to you from the sacred text itself, moominvalley in november.
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this is the most depressing thing you will ever read if you haven't ever been given to read as an eight year old. no, really. no, you don't know what's coming.
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have people got tissues?no [inaudible 00:04:39]no, you're going to need them.
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we've got tissues [inaudible 00:04:43].chapter one.
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this is also dedicated, by the way... in fact, i'm quite sad because at the end of this week-
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... we're all going to have to pack up and go home, right? we're all going to have to leave. it's the last week.
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early one morning in moominvalley, snufkin woke up in his tent with the feeling that autumn had come and that it was time to break camp.
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breaking camp in this way comes with a hop, skip and a jump. all of a sudden everything is different. and if you're going to move on, you're careful to make use of every single minute. you-
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... pull up your tent pegs and douse the fire quickly before anyone can stop you or start asking questions.
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you start running, pulling on your rucksack as you go, and finally you're on your way, and suddenly, quite calm, like a solitary tree with every single leaf completely still.
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your camping site is an empty rectangle of bleached grass. later in the morning, your friends wake up and say-
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"he's gone away. autumn's coming."
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snufkin padded along calmly. the forest closed round him and it began to rain.
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the rain fell on his green hat and on his raincoat, which was also green.
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it pittered and pattered everywhere, and the forest wrapped him in a gentle and exquisite loneliness.
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there were many valleys along the coast.
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the mountains roll down to the sea in long stately curves to promontories and bays which cut deep into the wild country.
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in one of these valleys, a fillyjonk lived all by herself.
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snufkin had met many fillyjonks in his time and knew that they had to do things in their own way and according to their own silly rules.
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but he was never so quiet as when he went past the house of a fillyjonk.
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the fence had straight and pointed posts and the gate was locked. the garden was quite empty.
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the clothesline had been taken in, and the woodpile had gone.
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there was no hammock and no garden furniture.
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there was none of the charming disorder that generally surrounds a house in summer-
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no rake, no bucket, no left behind hat-
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... none of the other homely things that lie around waiting for the next day and make the house look welcoming and lived in.
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