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it thinks that somebody said to us in passing, that we've just accepted as what they are and-
X
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-in actuality, it's just a part of who we are. and we have to sometimes reprogram our minds to go back to that and er-
O
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4.2
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authentic self. and that can help guide us to living that life of abundance or getting through some of the harder things that we go through.
O
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5
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being malicious. my mom used to call me little red hen because-
N
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4.4
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i would be... oh sorry, do you remember the story of the little red hen? she used to do all the things-
H
5
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5
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she was making the bread. nobody was helping her. and when it came time, it's like, you can't get none-
X
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things. who was going to help, whatever. it's like-
O
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in a way i think, i don't know if that is what had-
N
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also a very giving person. so it could have been like, oh, maybe i don't want to seem selfish. and then just the world in general, saying to share-
X
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you can over-give and i can over-give. and so that i can be selective and create my own criteria of when i-
X
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of my heart and not expecting anything back.
N
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or i'm not feeling any type of way if there is not a certain level of reciprocity. and those are things that i wasn't always good with. i-
O
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i'm going to say, and it didn't always work out.
S
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3
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i don't have to give out. if i feel like i'm doing all the things, and this is my-
C
4.2
3.2
5.2
2257
Female
and that is something that i'm getting more and more comfortable with and-
H
4
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and this comes to other things too. it's-
H
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about, i don't know how long ago it was-
N
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i got to realize that i had an issue with-
S
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-being right. i like being right. and don't we all.
H
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and then sometimes you realize you're trying to prove yourself to those who are not-
O
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hear what you say. it doesn't matter the stress that you impart on yourself-
X
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3
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of trying to do things right.
N
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or whatever. it doesn't matter because i can continue to move forward into what i'm supposed to be.
O
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5
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that they know i'm right. or that they real-
X
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proving you're right. doing the right thing is a good thing, but that you-
N
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4
5.2
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you can only do what you can do.
X
4
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it's a document and keep it moving to the next project. keep it moving to the next-
N
5
5
4.2
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-thing. you say you're a piece and then you keep your peace.
C
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Female
we're a lot more harsh on ourselves than the outside world is. or we-
S
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3
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-create thoughts in other people's head that we then put in ours. what-
C
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2257
Female
if it is not something that is going to elevate you or help you-
X
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it is not something that is for you-
C
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2.8
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2257
Female
.. but you have to be your own number one, priority. nothing-
O
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... else can get done well, if you are not that priority.
N
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so if things do not help you, then they are not for you.
S
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... worry you can't be a good parent. if you are not good to yourself, first.
X
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you want to get to a place where you're serving from a place of-
X
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so, thank you all. this is going to be a short episode because it's just me.
H
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but we will be back soon with guests and then there'll be some more episodes with just me. so, if you have any questions-
H
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... in the comments on instagram or on youtube, because this video component is-
X
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... is super real and we will get to them. so-
H
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... will be wrapping up soon. and i really want to thank you all for all the love and support that we've gotten so far on the season of abundance. and i'm saying we, because-
H
4
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... obviously it started off with a lot of guest spots. we had-
X
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... see, you have mahogany, and it's just been an awesome start to this.
H
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i am a certified life coach. certified-
H
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... living proof that you can experience-
N
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... bad things and come out on top.
S
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3
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nobody is walking in your shoes.
N
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... know how you grieve. and everybody grieves differently. even though we have these stages of grief, even those stages of grief-
N
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3
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...look different to different people. so-
N
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you have to have enough unction or have someone in your life to-
X
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3.8
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... so do you want to tell people the story of the things that have kind of happened in your life that got you to a position of-
H
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i swallowed all of that, which is not good.
O
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and nobody around me at the time-
S
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... had to bury a child. so i was there, stuck on stupid, looking like, what do i do with this?
X
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because, i had my daughter when i was 16.
O
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there i was, being tracy and-
N
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i love pastors, but pastors can't do it all. like pastors may not have training in that capacity.
A
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... so, i had to find a professional-
X
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... even helped me to backtrack and deal with the death of my mom.
X
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... that with my relationship with god, because i'll tell you the truth. if i didn't have both of those, i would be-
H
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these types of complex things, and like you said, with-
N
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... losing a child it's one of those things that happen-
X
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... everybody will lose their parents and-
X
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... if you know, but-
N
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... to lose a child, people don't talk about that because it's not something that people typically talk about. i remember somebody-
X
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and to this day, i'm very protective of my daughter. even though she's not-
O
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... i didn't even have the energy to deal with the mess because i knew i was going to lose my freedom because at that point when-
S
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... they were helping me do stuff. when i didn't even know who they were.
X
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i don't... yeah, i don't know how my phone number got out because i'm private about my phone number-
O
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... strange people calling me. i want to do this. let me-
X
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... well, you know she wouldn't want you to do that.
O
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... people, they mean well, but if you don't know what to say, don't say-
X
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... give a casket, but in the same... okay, this is how this plays-
X
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... now, i don't don't think so.
S
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3
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... yeah, it's really weird how people won't like-
N
4.2
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3.8
2100
Male
oh wow. that girl. i don't-
H
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that's why i'm so glad at that time i did not have the energy.
H
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so, there's nonstop people being around. so i noticed anytime i would walk into the room, people would just sit there and just watch me.
N
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everybody else went back to normal, to their normal.
N
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i remember sitting on my bedroom, laying on my bedroom floor just-
S
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... crying because nobody was answering the phone.
O
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i said, i got to go. i literally walked in. i got to get out of here, leaned on a desk. i got to get out of here. where can you send me?
H
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okay.so, that friday she was trying to get me on a flight that saturday.
H
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she said, okay, well there's a flight going out early monday morning.
H
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didn't even give me a chance to think about it. she said, i'll go ahead and book it. by the time i was like, getting ready to say, well, she had-
A
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... already booked it and it was already paid.
A
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... one person, my big sister say, girl, you better do it.
N
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in that suitcase and was just smiling from ear to ear.
N
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just smiling from ear to ear.
N
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and my big sister dropped me off at the airport that morning. it was-
H
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... super early. and as soon as i landed in hawaii, i -
X
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... i didn't think i would ever smile or laugh again.
S
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... so when i got off the plane and got leid.
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and it was like, well, is there anything else left?
O
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little did i know there was so much more on the other side of that
H
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... but going to hawaii was the best thing i could have ever done because-
H
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... back like, oh, i did. i didn't really have a choice. i had to just go-
S
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can you tell us a little bit now about what you do professionally with grief?oh yeah-
H
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.. perspective on it. because a lot of people don't, they look at-
S
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