text stringlengths 0 1.05k |
|---|
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** So what we're talking about, even with habits, is recognizing ways in which you actually have this internal toolbox, you have access to resources, strategies, skills, tools that help you do you to the best way that you can. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. Let's equip people then with some particular tooling that they can use to recognize good and bad habits, and the necessary components to actually being able to change a habit. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Well, one of the things I wanna -- because I tend to want to be specific and helpful... I don't like to put things in good or bad, simply because things aren't good or bad. But I would say habits as sort of preferable or not preferable. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Okay, I like that. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Or adaptive and maladaptive. Like it works well, or it works, but just not very well. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right, right. So we have to throw away the nomenclature of good and bad habits then, is that what you're saying? |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Well, good and bad, because unless it's really aspects of morality, I don't want people to get stuck in more of a binary mode of thinking... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Gotcha. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** ...like it's either, or. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** We need more shades of grey in this scenario. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right. As really functional adults, we should do our best to live more abstractly, in the sense like everybody has a different sense of strengths and weaknesses, or what they're more prone to practice versus not. But everybody -- I want everybody to be literally their best version of who t... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** I'm glad you said it that way, because I would even put that in the toolset to recognize the more shades between white and black, not just binary one or two, when it comes to understanding your personal habits, whether they're (as I said) good or bad... But in your case, you're suggesting that we be... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Well, yeah, because ironically, our brain, when we're computing things as an either-or, then we're in trouble with ourselves, because "Now I'm on this side of the cliff, versus that side of the cliff, and there's a canyon or a chasm, and shoot-- now I'm screwed, because I'm on the wrong si... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right, right. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** So now I'm gonna amplify my brain's threat response of like "I'm in trouble", and this is dangerous, even when I don't want to be. So - awesome, I'm glad that's at the forefront of this. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** I like that. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** We wanna think more abstractly. And you talk about optimizing - how do we be our optimized self, and does that have to look the same as anybody else's optimized self? |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** \[35:56\] Second to that, we talk about having a sense of awareness, and the awareness would look like "Does it work for me? Does it take me closer to or farther from my goal?" |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right, the things you're trying to do in life, whether it's career, or personal, or whatever the scenario is. What your long term goal is, essentially. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah, I love it - I don't know if you've read the book Essentialism. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yes. I say it faster because I love that book. One of my favorite chapters is Protect the Asset. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah...! And see, we are all so uniquely designed, and we're all designed to play a part within the greater whole. What we could do is amazing, amazing. But the whole premise of this book is like -- I love the initial chapter, where he's like "Quit doing everything that you don't wanna do.... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** \[laughs\] That seems so simple. Great advice. Book done. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right?! \[laughs\] But for us to begin to see, "What do I just naturally do? What would I do independent of getting paid to do it? I don't need anybody to ever pay me to read a book. I'm going to do that. I can't help myself..." |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Wouldn't it be nice to be paid to read books though? I mean, come on now... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** \[laughs\] It would. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** As many books as you read, if you had a penny for every book you read, you'd be a thousandaire, or something. I'm just kidding... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** \[laughs\] But recognizing that this is part of the unique design. So how then do I hack my unique design that's going to work? And I also think of that -- now I'm gonna pull in (while we're unique) that social component of going "We're all embedded in other relationships and families." So... |
In the world of brain injury talked about our board of advisors, because their brains didn't work as well. Like, "Who's on my board of advisors?" Who would assist me in being my best me, that my choices actually have a direct or indirect impact on them? |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah, that's true. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** ...so that they're gonna help keep me accountable. Because we know that accountability, ironically, increases the likelihood of us reaching certain goals or habits that we want to achieve. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. For the simple fact that we don't wanna let people down. If I was counting on you to do something and you let me down, you would feel bad about that, and that's not a good thing, obviously. So you wanna feel good, and the natural thing would be to follow through with whatever I was thinking y... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right, so identify how this new habit would actually not just benefit you, but work well for the other people with whom you're in relationship with. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah, don't put yourself in isolation with your decision-making, because if you've made a choice to change a habit that you felt was more desirable -- is that what you said, desirable/less desirable, in terms of the polar opposites in this example? If you went that route, then it was more desirable ... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right. Recognizing that it's not just me that gets to benefit from it. They're gonna help keep me accountable, and it's like there's additional dividends. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. So an accountability partner is a key aspect in this toolset of habit understanding, and formation, and change. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah. It's just going to enhance it. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** \[39:53\] If we're looking at the social component, identifying our resources, then go "What nuances, what am I going to now replace it with?" I've identified how it doesn't work, how it's gonna benefit me, so I can hold that... And sometimes even putting that in your visual field, because... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Oh, yeah. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Ironically, we don't want to look at what we're not doing. So if I put up on a calendar, say it's like "I want to mountain bike four times this week", put an X on the calendar when you do it, because you're not gonna wanna look at a calendar that's empty. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right, yeah. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** And identify then how you're going to replace it. So if I'm looking at my day, and the context, and saying "I'm gonna be more prone to do this in the evening, based on my work schedule and my other social relationships, my family can join me etc. I'm gonna put it up on the calendar", then ... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yes... Playbook plays out. TV watched. 11 o'clock. Now you crack open the ice-cream... Just kidding. \[laughter\] We've gone the whole wrong way. What I love though is what you said there, and I don't know if the audience heard this as clearly as I did, but you said "Look at what you wanna do, your ... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah, yeah. So if that's the time that I've identified that that's when I'm going to implement a new habit, then I need to look at how do I hack it? And I would say "I'm not gonna go home." |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Go right to the gym. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** I'm gonna go right to the gym, I'm gonna take my bike with me... And really brainstorm. It doesn't have to be just one, but you have to identify the replacement, because retrieval at that time, in that moment, is going to default back to-- |
**Adam Stacoviak:** To your comfort zone. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah. |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.