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tell you. yeah. that you were responsible
A
5.416667
2.916667
5.25
133
Female
for whether or not your gender was ever going to appear in this club, charlie goodnight's in north carolina.
X
4.333333
3.333333
4.5
133
Female
about five years ago, we were out somewhere and she goes, "i still am embarrassed." i said of what, i'm thinking maybe it's on my show. something. she goes, "of what?" i go, "yeah, of what?"
U
4.8
3
5
133
Female
she goes, "wing people," to nudge me and go, "seriously. that's happening." it is occurring.
D
3.8
3.2
4.2
133
Female
when you started out, your third time up on standup, you stole seinfeld's act. have you ever told him?
N
5
3.4
5.2
132
Female
and he's talking like this. so i'm thinking, "hey, maybe i'll talk like this too." and i went on.
H
4.6
5.4
5.2
133
Female
so you tell a joke, i didn't know you had to write your own material. so i go up there and i go,
N
3.6
4
4.4
133
Female
"i'm driving here today and my car stalls. i open up the hood and i'm like, what am i looking for? a big on, off switch? on off?"
X
5.2
3
5.6
133
Female
stage and three or four comics crowd me and go, "where'd you get that material?" i go, "jerry seinfeld."
X
5
3.2
4.8
133
Female
and just tell about your own life and your own stories. you can't take someone else's stories. all right.
X
5
4.4
5
133
Female
i couldn't believe 300,000 women die of this. that's what the fuck? how come i didn't know? and she's like, "okay, okay, okay. get out of the hospital," and then so i'm out of the hospital.
A
6
1.692308
5.846154
133
Female
i go meet with her and she is like, "i think it needs to be funny." i go, "what?"
U
4.6
3.6
4.6
133
Female
we want to shoot it in february, is that what it was? january, april. so now we're in
X
5.1875
4.6875
5.25
133
Female
the whole tour in australia. i had never been to australia. well, we didn't sell any tickets.
S
4.2
2.8
5
133
Female
i felt so bad. if i ever do go there and perform, i'm going to give everybody $5 back because
F
4.6
2.4
4.8
133
Female
i feel shitty that they had to pay me. not the people, the club owners or the theater owners, but i could.
S
5.75
2.1875
5.6875
133
Female
sometimes i would see a woman on tv and she would have a...
C
4.142857
3
4.571429
133
Female
comedian working in the country and now there are so...
C
4.2
2.4
4.6
133
Female
but the irony there is nora ephron's kid is who helped get you in sleepless in seattle.
C
5.2
4
5.4
132
Female
five weeks later jacob calls me to say, "it's mom, she's not going to make it." i go, "make what?"
S
3.714286
2.571429
4.428571
133
Female
it's like, "well, she's had leukemia for six years." i was like...
S
2.692308
2.384615
3.846154
133
Female
had the greatest line, ma. her son max said...
H
3.6
4.8
4.4
133
Female
she didn't even tell that
X
3.764706
2.823529
3.941176
133
Female
the way, but i have to tell you, it was very hard. it was very hard for me personally. it's still hard for me personally. and the joni mitchell thing last night, i'm like...
S
3.818182
2.818182
4.272727
133
Female
this is an essential human being to me in my life and on the planet and she can not go away.
X
4.6
3.2
4.6
133
Female
really needs to live forever because i don't know what would happen
S
4.4
3.8
4.2
133
Female
to him a few years after i shook his hand and i said, "hey." he goes, "hey. he goes, "you did..." i said, "yeah."
D
4.2
4
4.6
133
Female
speaks to the integrity of a starting out. maybe i overly identify because i came from the standup world, but that's where i feel closest. those who feel like my kin, even though you are so much more
N
5.4
4.6
5.2
132
Female
and i felt that way with him too. and i got it. it was like, oh yeah, you don't want to produce something that you don't feel-
H
5.909091
4.909091
5.454545
132
Female
about about telling the truth. and if someone is going to prevent you from doing that, you have to leave that environment.
O
4.4
2.6
5
133
Female
and also the idea that you can make enough money. that there is actually... i've made enough and i'm really grateful for it and i actually don't need to-
H
4.6
4.2
4.6
132
Female
[inaudible] but without being too graphic, if someone tells you that you have a hundred million dollars and you think you need a hundred million more...
D
3.166667
3.333333
4.333333
133
Female
so i got to a point where the money was absurd
D
3.4
3.4
4.4
133
Female
and i already had a hundred million and they were offering me 50 million a year at the time i left.
X
3.1
3
3.9
133
Female
i had a home in miami. i had a home in nyack and a department in manhattan. i didn't know what else i could do.
N
3.25
3.166667
4.5
133
Female
my children were, my son was in first grade, he was seven and i wanted to get out before he was really in school because i knew...
X
4.2
3.6
5
133
Female
i have five children and that kind of commitment to a play,
N
3.4
4
4
133
Female
it's hard to know whether or not i can do that. we did have the family meeting and we'll see what the votes are this weekend.
X
2.6
3.4
3.9
133
Female
for this episode of employee of the month i want to thank the writers guild, i want to thank ian [masof] and all of you for listening. if you like the show-
H
4.833333
6.5
5.166667
132
Female
i've been recommending your book left and right. like when people ask me for 10 ideas, i've been telling, "okay. for anything that has to do with making a group, something read jason's."
H
5.9
5.5
5.5
1692
Female
yeah. so thinking about one may be easy, but if i asked you to come up with nine more that's hard.
C
5.846154
4
5.230769
1692
Female
i hear, not every time on james's podcast, but oftentimes he'll try to give ideas to guests.
X
4.4
4.6
4.4
1692
Female
no problem. but to go to a hundred, i think anyone in the western world, we kind of have a responsibility to notice how good we have it.
H
5.333333
5.416667
5.416667
1692
Female
well, but i'm pretty sure you'd do it anyways. it shows. when i get on a plane to go to one of your events, i can feel it.
N
5.4
3.8
5
1692
Female
that's fantastic.
H
6
6.368421
5.578947
1692
Female
i love the internet,
H
5.875
6.125
5.375
118
Male
goddamn it. i love the internet. quirk of the day is, it makes me truly sad, like a lot of people, when celebrities die.
S
2.6
2.2
3.6
117
Male
43 years ago, right? i'm going to say he was about 30 at the time. i'm going to stick with my original guess.
N
4.4
4.2
4.4
118
Male
you know he died of a- he was old. he was old. died of complications. they were doing surgery to correct some coronary arteries, and he died of complications during it.
S
2.6
2.6
3
117
Male
i read recently that when they left the show to do a moonwalk- yeah. they had to remember not to shut the door because there wasn't a-
H
4.833333
4.833333
4.555556
117
Male
holiday. just after ross and rachel break up during a skiing holiday. they're in phoebe's grandmother's car, and do it.
H
4.6
4.8
4.8
118
Male
rachel closes the door. yeah. that's what it'd be.
H
4.5
4.833333
4
118
Male
people, they don't really give the credit, to the moon landing, it deserves.
C
3.6
3.8
4.2
117
Male
when a space ship has just landed on a very low amount of air pressure area, wind carries for a long time.
N
3.5
4.166667
4.333333
117
Male
everyone was trying to get to the moon. thing is, no one really gives the russians credit. america, yeah, they got to the moon, but the russians did so much before that.
X
4.6
4.2
4
117
Male
better get more credit than obviously the- fuck. i forgot what the russians call themselves.
X
4.4
3.8
4
118
Male
the moon landing, pretty much, is an instrumental part in the end of the cold war.
N
2.6
4.4
3.6
117
Male
someone went out
N
3.4
4.4
3.8
117
Male
once, and this can't have been 10 years ago, so he'd have been 70-odd. smartphone the fucking thing.
X
3.8
2.6
3.8
117
Male
there's only one. he's a young star commander [inaudible] by young kids. i stand by my point. just buzz aldrin it.
H
5.6875
6.0625
5.4375
118
Male
i imagined that it, what's the name of the guy who created sims? is it not steve someone? we'll have
N
4.2
4.2
4.2
118
Male
have expensive lifestyles and hoes and bitches, and we don't want to be paining wall repairs. it puts off the hoes and bitches.
X
4.2
3.4
4.6
118
Male
it was two planets going around a binary star. this kind of goes back to the neil armstrong thing. people don't really
H
5.2
4.133333
5
117
Male
[inaudible 00:02:26]. when space travel was first run, they'd be like, "right, we've got this star system out here. [inaudible 00:02:33]."
X
4.8
4.8
4.6
117
Male
the made it sound much more sci-fi action-like. it'd be much more appealing to the standard everyday person who doesn't normally give a shit about this.
C
4.4
4
4
118
Male
i don't normally.
O
4.8
4
4
117
Male
it's a shame we didn't reach [inaudible 00:02:47]. they do have a history of saying some fucked up things. we should've found mark.
D
4.8
2.6
4.8
118
Male
i've got one in the back of my mind. if it comes up, i'll mention it, but no doubt it won't. ignore i said anything. that's quite something.
N
4.8
4.4
4.4
118
Male
they do get pregnant. i'm not going to pretend to know what the figure was, but a lot of bit unwanted babies, rape babies.
U
4.8
4
4.4
117
Male
maybe if they just closed their vaginas, then they wouldn't have got raped in the first place. that's based on his knowledge; that's not my opinion.
N
4.8
3
4
118
Male
he's overhead something and then passes it on. wow.
H
5.444444
5.833333
5.055556
118
Male
now, we have to talk about this game.
N
3.5
3.916667
3.166667
117
Male
a game like that, i think, a game where it's made for its experience, you just need to go in there. not tactics, but go in there and experience it.
N
5.6
4.8
5.4
118
Male
he's still avoiding. i'm trying not to tell him because he hasn't played it yet. he was giving me tips about to get away from him, but thing is i just made it worse.
H
3.8
4.6
3.8
117
Male
he's going after people who were unlikeable anyway. in most horror films, maybe not so much in all the horror films, but modern horror films,
N
5.2
4.4
5
117
Male
[inaudible] that you would have thought. no. the people who are in it are just the most outright douche bags, and jason is an iconic character.
D
4.470588
2.588235
4.764706
117
Male
i'm not a cruel person, but they were just so unlikeable.
H
5.833333
5.833333
5.166667
117
Male
least designed them. imagine it inside a flat building, just a tower block. slender mechanic
N
3.8
4.2
3.8
118
Male
seems pitted against each other, similar to terrorists in suwon to terrorists [inaudible 00:04:15]. also, watch that. it is awesome.
X
3.8
3.6
4.2
118
Male
yeah. we want you to go to it because it's probably
N
4.2
3.8
4.4
117
Male
[crosstalk] there who wants to be in a gaming tournament and possibly have to do forfeits if they lose.
N
3.2
3.4
3
117
Male
commit to forfeit if you lose, and if you don't, you'll be shamed.
A
5.8
4
5.6
117
Male
you will be shamed. i genuinely couldn't because i like to think about this sort of thing from time to time, and i try to imagine it, and honestly, i cannot imagine how it would be to go through your life without something.
S
4.2
3.8
4.6
118
Male
people like to pretend that they can get into it.
C
2.8
2.8
3.6
117
Male
we can feel it, but we can also hear it. if you've got your wrist to your ear, you can hear the pulsation a bit. yeah. there's all kinds of stuff, but complete silence.
N
4.2
4.4
4.2
117
Male
it just seems so beautiful, but she put it as that's her favorite band, complete silence.
N
3.833333
4.833333
4.333333
117
Male
people posting big, operatic stuff, and they're getting a love. rightly so, that is the kind of thing you should listen to. yeah. then, people post it-
X
5
4
4.2
117
Male
you can imagine some of the thoughts that are going through my mind right now. imagine our nights out.
H
6.111111
6.166667
5.444444
118
Male
okay. right. this is based on what i imagined somebody-
N
3.8
4
4
118
Male
easy. i'm going to pull your ears out, but you can only have these super advanced earphones put right into it, and you can only have these three songs for the rest of your life.
X
4.2
4.4
4.2
117
Male
this is- please, dad. i've got the surgical table ready everything.
H
5.705882
5.647059
5.176471
118
Male
would you do that over "bohemian rhapsody?"
X
3.333333
4.166667
3.833333
117
Male
no. no, i wouldn't. good call.
N
2.8
3.6
3.2
118
Male
if it wasn't that, i would go for "never let you down." never let me down from [inaudible 00:00:05:54].
N
3.4
4.2
4.4
118
Male
i say there's an atmosphere when you go there, but when you go to where will we live, i'm not telling you where we live-
N
4
3.8
3.8
118
Male
i do love johnny cash's version, and i like it better than the nine inch nail version, but for some reason, if i were going to listen to it forever, i'd go with the nine inch nails version.
X
4.2
5
4.6
117
Male
i'm going to say... do you want to keep the internet-
X
3.6
4.2
3.6
118
Male
H
5.666667
6.083333
5.583333
117
Male
scarlett johansson's naked pictures. i felt guilty about looking-
X
4.2
3.2
4.4
117
Male
it's the fact that the royals told them not to put the pictures out, and for a while, they didn't. when, if that was anyone else-
A
3.4
3
4
117
Male