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once [inaudible 00:03:04] messages, i see, as you know-
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depending, it gets to the point where i'll just dm you and be like [inaudible 00:03:10] message.
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like the bff in some weird attempt to make them jealous-
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i don't know, do guys think ... i don't really care about that stuff so much.
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put them on a pedestal, there is a lot of red flags that you ignore that-
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well, there are people who look like the type of men that we want to be with. i was-
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... watching a lot of black movies over the weekend and there was so many different variations of the type of guys that-
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actually, is it what they're doing, is it their looks? and that's what i mean when i say that i feel like we doing ourselves a dis-service because it's-
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would even bring anything to the table. or do we consider ourselves pieces of shit, to be honest?
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because if we don't, then are you really punching-
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... something tangible to bring into a relationship. i don't know if-
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maybe that's also inspiring you as much as you're attracted to them, to actually do something with yourself and your life. so-
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so, going down to the main section of today's episode.
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so, this is the version of ravi's dilemma.
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as i mentioned, she has a boyfriend the whole time we've been speaking.
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which is weird, because it's almost widely known that she has that she don't-
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but she don't talk about it to me. today, i'm still chatting with-
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she is a really nice person. she is really funny and we get along-
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... really, really well. and i think it's one of those things where, because-
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so, we've been talking and we kind of-
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i would say go out again.
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what has been your issue so far?
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i've had this as well with a few people that i've liked and got along with and all that and i've asked people-
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... do it but, you're not trying to break up with your boyfriend or your girlfriend?yeah.
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yeah, we need to find out if this boyfriend is real.
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from that my natural expectation of them-
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... see your feeling then sort of like, almost move on a little bit because you're like, okay-
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you can stay friends with them i guess.
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which might be the case if you do take the advice-
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... out of like, or maybe she is not happy and she just wants to sort of see what is going on kind of thing.
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and it's about sort of-
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... happens. so, we're going to go into the final part of the pod.
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and this part of the pod or this part of the episode, not of the pod, essentially just is handing it over to the both of you as my guests-
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at least you don't have money problems, because you have-
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who your partner or potential partners and just try-
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e. so, it's ravi.parma_, so r-a-v-i.p-a-r-m-a.
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definitely follow those. i will link them on the platforms as-
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... at gmail.com or you can use the curios cat link which is up on all the platforms as well. as always, thank you very much for joining-
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you know that already. [inaudible 00:06:41] the bams if you got it and i am here with two amazing, wonderful, inspirational-
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... [inaudible 00:06:49] for beautiful babies of color.
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guys, thank you so much for having me. i'm quite excited, i love-
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... a good podcast. but, my name is tobi, creator or founder-
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... happy and excited that you've both been able to come onto the podcast today. i know there is going to be-
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... a wealth of wisdom that will come about. and yeah, i mean, i think we should-
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build your boo to filled you boo. and the way filled you boo is going to work is slightly different. [inaudible 00:07:27] you have-
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and in those 30 seconds, what i would like you to do, is for every person that is listening, whether you are single-
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... whether you are just finding yourself. i would like you to-
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give them three pieces of advice that you feel-
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... that you would give to them in 30 seconds.
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to elaborate, i mean, 30 seconds is short and long at the same time. it's-
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somewhat clutch because obviously you want to have ... you want to enjoy your time with your partner, but it's important that-
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so, what would you say in terms of-
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... those two things. what would you say might potentially be-
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and then, what strength is your connection, what made you-
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thank you, tobi. dev, onto you.
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yeah, is in a relationship and-
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... all about compromise. it's all about give and take. so, if you go [inaudible 00:08:38]-
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yeah. so, i've actually said the second, just being the best version of yourself. because-
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... will solve some loneliness or some-
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but if you're secure in yourself, if you're confident in yourself-
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... because you're not whole and you're not believing in yourself. so, it's a-
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... if you're like, "that went by in a flash."
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... [inaudible 00:09:15] the marriage is going to be amazing.
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i've definitely ... the way i see-
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... for me, at least, the pace of, this is how you can do it. and it's not easy.
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and today we'll be talking about a variety of things.
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... [inaudible 00:09:32] very enjoyable.
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i mean, the great thing, you mentioned maybe [inaudible 00:09:38]. the great thing is that, that journey for me anyway was done alongside and in the presence of some amazing phenomenal women who-
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... that was going on. but ultimately, to really love on me and the relationship as it was developing-
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so, it's been a really lovely journey. my husband, it...
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getting married was quite fun. it's sort of the next...
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... a young married couple to having kids is probably when i think, toby, you can probably relate as well, where it sort of takes it up a notch, and introduces a whole...
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financial stretching. trying to juggle and balance it, or trying to figure out who you are in the midst of all of this chaos, because...
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... trying to make that change so...
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and again, having fantastic women like [inaudible 00:00:47]...
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just being able to share experiences and feeling...
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... vulnerable and feeling up, or feeling down, or tearing your hair out because your kids...
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in terms of community...
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experience what you've been [inaudible 00:01:06]...
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that was great. and then yeah, throw in to the mix one child. and is...
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... for the men to also help in terms of support for us...
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and the baby is [inaudible 00:01:22]. that's definitely a challenge, i think. add another...
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as i said, coming back to your values and your connection, and your...
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... think, like you said it, sometimes it...
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it's just about managing that. so yeah. no, i think it's really...
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... or for your experience. but going back to the community part. and what i was going to say before was that...
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... to really help elevate me to where i want to be. because you visualize it, you see it...
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... get a sense by how much people... sorry. let me start again.
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... 100% the same. nobody's ever heard someone else's story coming from...
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we're quite fortunate, i think. i think there's something to be said about...
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remember when i started lwb. the reason i started was i was like, "okay, i've just moved back to london. i really don't know much..."
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must be a really weird thing. it's not really about me. it's more...
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[inaudible 00:02:23] things together...
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we were in this really unique space in our lives where everyone was young and...
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... very similar principles and morals. and it started off, i think, five of us or something, but like...
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... attracting like meant that...
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... really good, or, this is well before...
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... or social media, like instagram and stuff like that came about. i think we have facebook...
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"oh, could i come?" and that person themselves wanting to protect that...
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... environment, that friendship, that sisterhood that we were building would be like...
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