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MSP_POD_NLP

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... something that i'm more passionate about. i need something that i-
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... the more sturdy, more fundamental. all of a sudden-
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... you probably will end up attracting the attention of the opposite sex. and you probably are much more-
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... old. twenties, thirties, who still haven't had that first realization. oh-
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... geez. this isn't really going to end well.
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listen, then your compromise doesn't really mean-
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... it's this. in order to successfully pursue something-
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... that way of putting it. and that's something that i think we really get-
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... you, and whether they say it explicitly or implicitly, oh-
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... this is the distinction. so what you just said, and i know you didn't mean it this way, but it's just totally conventional-
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... way to make myself not appear desperate. i've got to sort of-
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... mask my desperation and that will never work. that will make it even worse. what tk-
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... be desperate. you have to attain the mental, the-
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desperate, and that's unattractive. so let me study the art of not appearing desperate, let me-
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imaging. i think the most unhealthy thing any person can engage in,
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is a widening of the gap between who they are, and who they think they are, or who they attempt to project that they are.
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if you are desperate, it's almost better to just own that desperation. and then say, "i've got to learn-
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overcome this desperation." it's like if you're an alcoholic, doing things to make sure nobody thinks you're an alcoholic is worse than just being open about it.
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women don't like me because of this fundamental misalignment of where i get my self worth. therefore, give me-
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the wife of his character is arrested. and this happens at the beginning of the movie, and she's like accused of this crime-
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have a horrible day. we both just laugh and say-
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you need it too bad, you got to let something go. and we're almost always right. even though it's funny, anytime we really need a person-
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immediately just like, "ugh".
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i feel like a prisoner, like, "no, i don't... maybe i will."
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... it's like i can feel almost the oppressive shackles of your needing-
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... stop it. stop caring what-
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let it go. find something deeper. be someone who truly-
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is hoping one landed somewhere that they didn't absolutely hate.
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apprenticeship during the program. see, you get paid to apprentice while you're in the program with these businesses.
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...met cost of zero experience.
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now i say this, but i know that it's useless to say that, because you just have to go through it.
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no. so, me personally, so i had this-
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playing the fool and i'm pissed-
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always knew deep down that she was not as interested in me as i was in her. it just-
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i literally, tk i mean, i became a shell of myself-
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things that i love that i never knew that i-
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but every single one of them was negotiable.
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every one of them. this girl was my focus, and i would do anything for her. and if she was like-
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i mean, if we wanted be together, i would've done it. if i would've had to stop playing guitar to keep her attention, or-
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keep the relationship, i would've done it. if i needed to stop playing basketball, i would've done it. if i needed to quit-
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a job. if i needed to say no to an opportunity to do something amazing, because i had to stay in kalamazoo michigan,
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everything was negotiable if it meant keeping her, and in her-
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totally who i was. now, i didn't realize, i thought this was a noble thing.
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young adolescent boy. and i-
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thought this made me noble. and i'm the kind of guy most girls would-
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die for. i do all the sweet stuff they do in those movies, and buy roses, and all... and that became of my identity.
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this was great. and-
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once i finally... it got so bad that i just had to admit to myself, she would go and hang out with other people instead of with-
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and absolutely nothing wrong, i don't think, with what she was doing. it all-
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objectively, anyone else would be jealous of having a guy like this-
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i've been here with my hotdog the whole time.
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she didn't say it wasn't true, she knew it too. and even at-
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really great to just get out of my normal habits, and routine, and friend circle, and all that stuff.
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i finally realized that all this time, i had a really low view of myself. and i never consciously would've said that, because i've always kind of had that-
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i'm out there on this mission trip with all these people, and they're like, "oh wow, you-
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it's like, i had thought really lowly of myself, because no matter what i did, no matter how good it was-
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and so that subtly influenced me, and i just sort opened up and realized, and came alive. and when i had that-
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all these mission trips i wanted to go, i wanted to die in some crazy-
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all of a sudden, life was just full of possibility. and i didn't care. i would go-
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the world to me. and when i did that-
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i meet heather, not long after that, with a whole group of friends. and we all start-
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had no... i was not intellectual. i did not read a lot of books or whatever-
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but i was so accustomed to just not needing-
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i don't pursue heather and try to make her like me and be impressed with me.
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i just go after who i am, and be who i am. and because of it-
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so anyway, that's my own personal story. and having gone through that now, when i see young guys who have not yet had that sort of moment...
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this has never happened for one of our podcasts before-
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genuinely feeling what i'm doing. this is the right thing for me to do, based on how i feel about her,
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even if i have no reason to think that it's going to work, it tends-
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to work. and it's one of those things that goes back to this idea of coming at whatever it is you come at, from this feeling of-
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...fear your disapproval. i fear your unhappiness. i fear-
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i'm going to try to do a tap dance routine or-
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whatever it is i do, in order to avoid this thing that i'm afraid of-
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hey, i'm genuinely interested in you.
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i'm genuinely excited about doing this together, and you know what?
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...flexibility in order to not be shattered in-
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... god, i can't do this trip with you tk because i've got, i don't have the money because i've got to get this 15th anniversary diamond ring because i promised heather on our fifth anniversary-
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and now i have lost the ability, the flexibility-
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i don't know if in 10 years from now you'll really want, more than anything else, to spend $20,000 on a diamond ring.
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i relate to this in the terms of, it's just making friends. and i believe in a lot of ways, that your love life is an-
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going to wait. i'm going to do what i want to do. if i want to go to the bookstore, or i want to go out to eat-
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it's ridiculous. and i truly do believe that-
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like, "oh my gosh, we're philosophy majors. can we talk?"
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that you truly believe in, people can sense that. people can feel that, and people want to be around-
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that. and it gives you opportunity to connect with people in interesting ways. and that doesn't mean that everyone you meet will become your best friend, or will-
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trying to please a girl, and there's nothing wrong with desire. that's a legit-
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to respect yourself, and you have to resist the temptation to lie to yourself.
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sticking at this thing from a guy's perspective. you and i both know this is-
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to be feared. and when you can get to this point where say, "hey-
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and, "what's something i'm so passionate about, that i feel good when i create value for people,"-
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be pursued, and i won't compromise that for anybody. and that-
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that blinds you to the self knowledge of what you actually-
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you're unable to see what it is that you really need, because money is only a means. just like the attention of a girl is only a means-
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ends to the self knowledge of what really makes you come alive. if you keep-
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all personnel problems essentially boil down to-
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because they saw you were an interesting person.
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be interested. if you're interested in the world, in whatever it is that you have, that you-
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an interesting person you're interested in. that's that's fascinating, right?
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who looks smart. you sound confident, you sound cool. and like-
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i think it's so important to get out of that paradigm of finding out what women want. i mean,
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