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i can only assume he must've been, to me in the meantime, and would feel insincere if he continued to sing about it.
X
4
3.8
4.6
884
Female
bang into it. it's called...
N
4.166667
3.5
3.5
886
Female
cougar. i went clubbing, i used to.
H
4.6
3.8
4.4
886
Female
and then, i haven't been out in a while because i got married and had a baby, and moved out the city.
X
5.2
5.2
5
886
Female
you skid marked yourself over here, given it all that.
A
6.6
1.8
6.4
886
Female
and before i finished this drink, i'll impart a little advice.
H
4.6
4.6
4.6
886
Female
it's my city and it's my night, so take your freshest attitude and that awful stench of links.
A
5.8
2.8
5.2
886
Female
your horrible rippy t-shirt and your herbal highs that you bought with your bag of chips, and get the fuck away from before i...
A
7
1.4
6.8
886
Female
deck you one. i'll destroy you little man, you'll be on the next train home, now go on.
A
5.8
2.2
5.6
886
Female
you're lucky, 'cause if me drink wasn't so nice i'll fucking at swill you. thank you. i'm a little bit aggressive when i'm...
A
6
3
6
886
Female
woo.i know, i went on a bit of a writing frenzy.
U
5.470588
5.470588
5.058824
886
Female
i was thinking about one night stands.
H
4.8
4
4.8
886
Female
i like him, i used to like him because i'm married. oh, i'm not wearing my ring.
H
6.2
6.2
5.9
886
Female
but yes i did.
H
4.8
6
5
886
Female
but there's this thing, i'm reading a book it's called black sheep.
N
4.8
4.8
4.6
886
Female
they done it, there's a very brief moment...
H
5.2
5
4.4
886
Female
and you kind of do it then, and then he jumps up and he goes right, there's your trousers...
U
6.363636
5.545455
6.181818
886
Female
your pants, and then he kind of just stands and watch as she get ready.
U
4.6
3.4
4.2
886
Female
had a really nice night. yeah, and i just...
H
4
5.6
4
886
Female
awkward goodbye is far worse than an awkward hello. i have to go.
N
4.4
3
4
886
Female
but if you asked us to, i totes would.
N
3.8
3.8
3
886
Female
i don't like things being put on children, on young people. and i think sometimes when you come from that sort of family...
S
5
4
5.2
886
Female
they can say things. and someone recently said something about my son and went, he'll end up in prison.
A
5.444444
3.333333
5.333333
886
Female
so yeah, i wrote this it's called out, i told you so.
A
4.666667
3.833333
4.833333
886
Female
yes, she'll end up in prison.
A
6
3.2
5.8
886
Female
we'd call it nature versus nurture trapped in a system of a negative behavior.
A
6.2
3
6.2
886
Female
no, it's not revenge.
F
5.5
3.083333
5.083333
886
Female
it had just proven their point. a self-fulfilling prophecy that you've heard repeated since the day that you were born, baba black sheep.
C
5.916667
2.416667
5.833333
886
Female
yes, sir. and it is better...
C
5.4
3.4
5
886
Female
that's where she's headed, good for nothing.
X
4
3.8
4.4
886
Female
always in trouble, baba black sheep, she's punished and she's done nothing.
N
4.4
4.2
5
886
Female
we devised it with women in law new in prison, so they all true stories about women, it's very exciting. please come and...
N
4.4
4.6
4.2
886
Female
that is about a change, but not before i do a little poem set in newcastle. do you all know what a charver is?
D
5
3
5.166667
886
Female
it's basically what the rest of the country calls a chav.
C
4.4
3.4
4.2
886
Female
who knows. and this is what so happened.
U
4.5
3.833333
4
886
Female
greg's delight, washed down with smashing slips of sprite and drag, after drag of a fume filled fag.
A
6.6
3
6.2
886
Female
bastard twat, it's not my fault.
A
5.8
2.2
5.6
886
Female
i'm a charver. i forgot...
N
5
3.6
5.2
886
Female
the next bit, i could've been a proper swat once. but when i asked me mom, a buy us some books.
H
5.916667
5.75
5.416667
886
Female
she said, nah, you've already got one. i tried to explain that the case catalog wasn't really a great...
X
6
2.2
5.8
886
Female
read, but my mom just shrugged, rolled her eyes and offered us some of...
X
4.4
3.8
4.8
886
Female
our weed. i wanted my life to be better than hers, but whenever i tried to tell her, she just started, turned up the telly and told us to drink...
A
5.6
2.7
5.5
886
Female
me umbrella. i only skived school on...
H
4.4
4.2
4.8
886
Female
for exams, but the local careers advisor advised that i should be a teenage mom, so...
H
5.8
3.8
5.4
886
Female
it's not my fault i'm a charver. and one day i'll prove all of us, people you mock can get somewhere.
A
5.6
3.2
5.4
886
Female
i didn't say i was going to try and theme the poems leading into the next act...
N
6
5
5
886
Female
so i need to do something else before i get the next act done. otherwise...
C
5.6
4.8
5
886
Female
well, has anybody seen les mis, fantastic, so you know the story.
H
5
4.8
5.2
886
Female
but some people didn't really want to sit for three hours and hear the whole thing through the medium of song...
S
4.2
3
4.8
886
Female
sung by gladiator and wolverine and all that. so if anybody didn't know the story...
A
5.2
3.8
5.2
886
Female
this is how i would explain it to them in seven seconds.
X
5
3.6
4.2
886
Female
the beginning in prison because a bloke stole some bread, at the end of the day almost everyone's dead.
H
5.6
4.6
6
886
Female
this might take 30 seconds to set up, so talk among yourselves. so how's this weather we've been having?
H
5.6
5.5
5.5
887
Male
not entirely sure what to expect.
H
5.8
5
4.8
887
Male
good, if you're part of the foster's best joke award and you are reviewing it, please put that, tell your friends.
H
5.583333
5.5
5.75
887
Male
been friz frizzle, and all my life i've wanted to be a professional song ruiner. sadly, that doesn't pay very well or at all.
A
5.4
2.8
4.4
887
Male
so what i do instead is i do 10 minutes previews at free fringe showcases like this one.
H
6.2
5
5.6
887
Male
and i'm starving. it's fun, so...
H
5.4
5
5
887
Male
i'm just going to get right into it. i'm going to ruin a couple of your songs from your childhood now, preferably from disney movies.
C
5.6
3.4
4.8
887
Male
oh, hospital. i want to trust him with my kids. it's a man called...
H
6.166667
5.083333
6.083333
1313
Male
jenny introduced beforehand, i'm a big fan of les mis. i would never change the lyrics to a les mis song...
H
6
4.4
6
887
Male
ever, i wouldn't do that. that would be the work of a madman.
U
4.8
4.4
4.6
887
Male
what i've done, is i've taken the lyrics of les mis and i put them to different, happier tunes, which is the work of a sane person.
N
4.6
4.4
4.4
887
Male
and i call the process less miserable.
C
5.2
4.6
5.6
887
Male
here's a new song i've written very recently, it's a nineties classic.
H
6.090909
6
5.909091
1313
Male
and [damien hurst 00:09:32] is fond of the dalai lama. [david jason 00:09:35] in danger mouse, enjoys brussels sprouts and broccoli and beans, but not butter beans they're evil.
D
6.2
2.8
5.4
884
Female
elected politicians who control a whole nation and dare to call it democracy.
A
6
2.4
6.6
884
Female
how she loathes propaganda, slander of standing truth, teller sold out by those who [inaudible 00:09:53] panda to the pound signs.
X
5.6
4.2
5.4
884
Female
how she can't abide conservatism, capitalism and most of the uses of the suffix ism.
N
3.2
4
5
884
Female
she speaks in the third person because it's not all about her.
C
5.2
4.6
5.2
884
Female
i can't look after a kid. i can barely look after myself, man. so this is 16 reasons why i should never have children and the oral trim.
A
7
1
6
884
Female
because i'd fight over their toys and i'd cry if i couldn't play.
N
3.8
3.6
4.2
884
Female
because i couldn't promise i'd remember to feed them every day, because-
U
4.9
3.8
4.9
884
Female
i'd give them names like dante, yacobi and raoul and embarrass them on purpose.
A
7
1
6
884
Female
because i'd threatened them with adoption whenever they were naughty.
A
5.2
3.2
5.2
884
Female
because i'd still pretend to be down with the kids when i was 40.
H
5.2
4.2
5.4
884
Female
because i'd make them pretend to have tourette's at important social events and i'd force them to all get paper-
X
4.8
3
4.4
884
Female
rounds so i could start charging them rent.i'd buy jigsaws to keep them quiet, but i'd hide at least one of the pieces.
N
4.2
4.2
4
884
Female
and i wouldn't tell them fairy tales about santa, the tooth fairy or-
D
5.4
3
5
884
Female
jesus. because i'd regularly confiscate and eat all of their chocolate and candy. and i'd dressed them up in fucking ridiculous clothes, like 20th century, 17th century dandy's.
A
6.666667
1.666667
5.666667
884
Female
because i couldn't justify it to them.
N
3.2
3.4
4.2
884
Female
why my life's the way it is, because i couldn't look in their eyes and explain why i brought them into this.
S
4.4
2.2
4.2
884
Female
because i'd rather shag david cameron than go through the pain of childbirth.
N
4.2
3.4
5.2
884
Female
and my final reason. i suggest you read phillip larkin's, this be the verse.
H
6
6
5
884
Female
they said that i attacked her.
A
4.4
2.2
5
884
Female
but that's not right at all. they said, i tried to eat her.
U
5.4
4.2
4.9
884
Female
but i'm not a cannibal. it's just that floor length, blue poncho-
X
5.6
4.2
5.6
884
Female
what she chosen to wear and those massive long eyes and that shiny blue hair made me react the only way that i can, because i'm not a criminal. i am pac-man.
H
5.8
4.6
5.8
884
Female
and on that note, i will introduce to you the final guest of this evening.
H
5.727273
5.363636
5.181818
884
Female
he is the video game loving, vegetarian heap of wonderful lettuce, mr. dominic berry.
H
4.4
4.6
4.8
884
Female
well, what a lovely introduction. if you too are a fan of video games, would you please give me a little whoop? okay. so this entire set is for three people.
H
5.2
4.8
4.8
888
Male
i'm sure even the most casual gamers been there though. just so-
N
5.5
3.666667
5.583333
888
Male
addicted to online gaming. you can't tear yourself away. so you end up shitting yourself.
D
5.4
3
5.2
888
Male
it's happened to all of us, right? yes, of course. so-
H
5.8
5.2
5.8
888
Male
not as much as this sensation in your-
N
3.8
4.4
4.4
888
Male
gyration, it's not your imagination. you need to poo, defecation.
D
6
3.2
4.8
888
Male
needs your full attention. you can't risk mobilization for fecal elimination.how you pray for-
D
5.4
3
5.4
888
Male
comes the situation is trouser annihilation.
H
6.6
4.4
6.2
888
Male
eat emancipation of your bowels, evacuation you did win-
X
4.8
4.4
5.2
888
Male
in the game elation swells with smells-
H
5.4
4.8
5.6
888
Male