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cairocode
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MSP_POD_NLP

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so disturbing to me on so many levels.
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with permission from your soul only-
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why am i powering over myself to date this man?
A
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but if we can all keep an open mind-
H
4.4
4.8
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all right, thank you so much, joyce. what a wonderful conversation. i really appreciate it.
H
3.4
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i just love her to death. i cannot wait for you guys to hear from her today. here is jennifer kaufman.
H
4.2
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1936
Female
it's going to be an incredible experience. the place we're staying is out of this world.
H
3.8
5.2
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1936
Female
i am so excited. so check that out if you're interested at all.
H
3.6
5.4
4
1936
Female
wow.now my inner voice was going, "hell no. i don't want to do a marathon. no frigging way."
A
5
2.4
5.4
1938
Female
i have to highlight this. when you said that you had had the best year business in your life in what? 2012, right?
H
4.2
5.2
5.2
1936
Female
exciting, almost, path of discovery of like, wow, how good does this get? what else-
H
3.8
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4.8
1936
Female
bring it, bring everything because i keep learning so much from it. it's so much joy so i have to highlight that. thank you for coming on and sharing this also-
H
3.8
5.8
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1936
Female
good job on the marathon. i've been running for over 20 years.
H
5.6
5.4
5.2
1936
Female
costing less than 1% of total us healthcare expenditure. meanwhile, the people in my own community are being cut off from vital resources like community-
X
5
2.4
5.2
1939
Female
... just coronary heart disease, all these things over the pandemic. this is a letter that i actually wrote my institution because i was like, "this is my issue. i don't want to withdraw from this program. i-
X
5
2.8
5.2
1939
Female
though, yeah, yeah.with throwing this big pile of garbage in your yard,
N
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3.8
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1936
Female
and i hate myself for it and all i'm eating every bite with an extra side of fear about what it's going to do with my body. now i'm disconnected from my kids that i'm sitting at the restaurant with
S
4.8
2
4.6
1936
Female
connection is what you're saying is so important for health. so
H
4
4.6
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1936
Female
figuring out what's going on with people actually. asking those questions why. and dr. renee wellen sign is one of those people. so she is a double board certified ob/gyn,
H
4.6
5.2
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and also noticed that i didn't think i had anxiety until i got my magnesium back up and noticed that i was experiencing quite a lot of anxiety and that went away.
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brings me to tears when i get on calls with them, i'm like, "do you see yourself? do you see what you're doing? that is so cool." so anyway, that is
H
5.4
6
5.2
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for me, the bread and butter of my coaching. i love it so much.
H
4
5.6
4
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like i created my life and i created my life the way i like. and i like to deep dive with a bunch of bad a people that really want to optimize their lives. and it's an
H
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4.2
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no sex drive. i don't know what's wrong with me and there's all this shaming and i'll just force myself to do it.
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5
2
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deliver. i can no longer operate because i sustained a broken back from that fall. so a pretty major life-changing injury.
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4.4
4
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over that next two years, i was sort of stuck in this victim mode. number one, i was, "poor me, no one understands the pain i'm going through."
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and then on top of that, i was having all these weird symptoms. i couldn't get out of bed in the morning. i was gaining weight. i had no libido.
H
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3.8
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i was having these weird cravings. i could care less to eat healthy. i was just living on
S
3.4
2.8
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i was at the point in my life, in my medical community, whereby i had flunked out of physical therapy. no one wants to see chronic back pain.
S
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was unacceptable. there came a point a few months prior to the journey down antidepressant road, whereby i told my husband, "i can't live like this."
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right? it's just like, "you have this." "why?" "we don't know, but just take this."
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3
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i was back in that world of a diagnosis and a pill.
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toxic bag of everything that can cause your brain to go wonky. and then we have teenagers on their phones till midnight.
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and no emotional processing at all. they're going through all these life changes. we're feeding them this
X
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need it there. and i think we live in denial a little bit. we weren't raised on it, right? so our parents' generation,
O
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energy and healing. and i see all your crystals and i think you got a buddha or something back there. so, i appreciate that. the understanding that a lot of healing is the emotional body.
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theme of like, "oh, i'm sitting for five minutes. oh my gosh, i shouldn't be sitting."
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and it's killing us. it literally, i think that mentality is what's causing all of these adrenal issues, low libido and everything. it's just placing our value in something that's killing us.
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by far. not just because she's one of my friends. just in general, truly it is one of the most enjoyable podcasts i've ever listened to. she is made for this.
H
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they have such awesome stories to tell that i can bring them on my podcast and i hope... i know it's going to inspire a lot of you guys.
H
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kate, your story is freaking insane and so cool. i was literally, we were texting this...
H
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yes, thank you kate. it's been so awesome. it's our...
H
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it's our honor. it's our pleasure because it's just been so cool.
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to go through this journey because when we met at ketocon, like...
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normal person to turn to who's been through what i've been through. show me some humanity here. i have no model, no example.
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and from there, i just hated myself. i thought the only thing i would ever know, and i'm sorry if this is really dark compared to your normal episodes...
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like, you've done a lot of healing modalities. like, a lot. you really searched the full gamut. and i remember you telling me when we were out in joshua tree one time...
H
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god, man, yes. holy shit.yeah.this is huge. i've been talking about prep...
H
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both had pretty low self-esteem. i love them so much, but.
H
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mindset at all. it was just like, "wow, that's so awesome. i'm so happy for you."
H
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that's scary. and i see that a lot from people, especially when...
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we are still like that as adults. we still get into these modes of-
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i think this is a great way to... i still have one more thing i want to bring up, but...
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have this fulfilling life experience of being able to help.
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[inaudible 00:01:15] like a bunch. you can tell that-
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and i want to say, too, when i tell my story on podcasts like this...
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it's gotten to this point, i'm honored. i love you so much.
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run with no sense of self-control is not one of those...
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and what things to add. and those two things have been researched and studied and as long as they've gone through testing and everything, the doctors will add that.
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being able to get into those spaces of seeing the positive that's right in front of me, right now. what's good about right now? what can be good about right now? what can be exciting about this step?
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with nutrition because they had that ability to be coached and apply what they were being taught, right? so, it's a super skill.
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i love that so much. man, your mom sounds awesome. i was also thinking...
H
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you can't even identify, you don't know what it is that's causing you to feel down and sad. it's just like your mom's example with the view thing.
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i don't want to cheat on my therapist vibe. but i'm like, what?
H
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that sounds amazing. and i love hearing that you guys are involved on the board for traumatic brain injuries and you guys are really creating impact...
H
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with what you're doing here. so awesome.
H
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i told him yesterday, "you need to see these kids." we were civil, and everything was fine. he gets out of the car-
S
5
2.6
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and immediately i noticed something that he used to do when we first were together and it pissed me off and triggered me.
S
5.2
1.4
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so it was like i was so angry and so...
S
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3.8
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i was so pissed off. i was so mad. i was grateful that he wanted to see the kids and everything, but when he got out of the car and i immediately noticed what i noticed...
S
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so, i was obviously pissed off. i had to pull over to get my shit together. ezra's sick.
S
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and he was so attentive to the woman and i was just like, i almost lost...
S
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because the park that we go to is... it's a really nice park that we met at.
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and he said he is going to make it up to the kid...
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and you hate my guts and never want to talk to me. you know what i mean?
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like what the fuck? the last time i saw you...
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physically. i'm not saying all up in your head was fine, but we were okay.
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5
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he... i know he has somebody, or multiple or whatever, but it just makes me angry.
A
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1.8
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mad. i'm so angry. i'm so angry. i'm so hurt. i'm so pissed off. i'm so mad.
S
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i wish i could just be like...
S
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screw you. i don't give a about you, piece of...
A
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why it makes me so angry is because he doesn't care. he hasn't gone through...
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he hasn't gone through any emotional hurt or...
S
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and i am jealous at the fact that...
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he just... i'm jealous because he's not hurting. he's really not. he really isn't.
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you have to understand how this all happened to me, okay?
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if maybe we had an argument and he left the house and we left and we split on that, maybe it'd be easier. i don't know. but the fact that i got this shit ripped under from me...
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the events that happened. all that shit, dude.
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i've never started this early in a month ever. my body is so fucked.
S
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so stressed out. i can't even depend on my...
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nevermind. i'm not going to bring that drama in. i can't depend on anyone. that's all i'm going to say.
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i have a few friends and that's it. that's all i'm going to say about that. read between the lines.
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i have realized that my circle is very, very minute and very small. and i have to rise above this shit.
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i got my shit out with you guys. i got my stuff out.
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if i didn't see what i saw when he got out of the car, i'd be straight. i'd be good.
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but i saw what i saw and that triggered the shit out of me. it triggered me so bad.
A
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it would be so different if he left me and lived a straight and narrow. but that's not how it was. you know what i mean? and he is like, "everything i do is to get away from you."
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none. absolutely no closure.
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and it will always be jaded. always.
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because of how he decided to exit my life.
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