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the thing ryan was talking about was i was trying to figure out a way that i could defriend my dad and my aunts and uncles and stuff without-
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well, i had that thing on-
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i was going to do my daily blog thing, which was very, very dirty and disgusting. and i wanted to like, have people watch it-
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but i didn't want my dad and my grandma to watch it have me-
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it's called beyond blackwater pond and you can find it on amazon.com.
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i don't want to get into the plot, but it's like a fantasy-
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sure. yeah. sort of yeah.
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like straight up, listen up. i say some-
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another creepy thing that happened the other day was i posted a thing on my status, it was stupid, but i posted like i'm not even going to try-
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here's a suggestion. you create a dummy account-
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well, it may be eventually, but this episode probably will be dead and gone by the time anybody starts listening-
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relate to that problem because i never would've let it go this far-
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just be like look, i'm a fucking adult. i'm going to say stuff that i do here in my life, in an adult life and don't-
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judge me or question me about it. so if you want to be my friend, you're going to have to deal with it.
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joke that i say here to affect your point of view of me now, so listen-
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and he recently, his latest appearance-
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then his current wife was like, he's not he's nice. i don't know-
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yourself. and in the loss of oxygen, as you're masturbating, it makes you get off even more-
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because the death in six feet under happened because the guy basically started choking as he orgasmed and then the orgasm caused him-
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so, maybe david carradine was into that-
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person's like, oh shit, he's dead. i'm getting the fuck out of there. but set it in whatever languages they're not-
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partake in the age old tradition of self-
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i mean, it would be bad enough to be caught-
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can you die sitting and then just die sitting there and then your roommate would come in-
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the bedside table or something. like can't you lay the thing on the bed and look at it like, does it need to be-
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well, i tried doing it in a chair and it just-
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that's a better option. i got to try indians-
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is that why they made bruce lee wear the mask in green hornet? because they didn't want to show his asian eyes-
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well obviously the guy from kung fu, the audience knows he's asian-
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they obviously notified someone, what the hell was wrong with whoever worked for him or whatever family he had that didn't rush in there right away and-
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asked more questions, but he's in hong kong filming something. so family's not really going to be there-
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sure the girl was like, oh shit he just died. went and notified someone right away and left because she doesn't want to be-
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that's why nothing got on title. they came there immediately because basically, it was in the news the next day. and it happened that night-
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in the old hollywood sense of the-
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it's not like anything with dead bodies or anything, but a transvestite black guy who had fake boobs put in, came-
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came down. we were trying to kick him out. but the law said-
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can't just kick him out of the motel. so-
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he came down and he was screaming at me through the glass. he was-
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lost it. and i was just like, get the fuck out of here right now. and i was screaming at him as loud as i could. and i slammed to the glass and-
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later we were talking about dying and jordan said that he actually has a letter-
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in his apartment for who to read-
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whoever. it's just like give half my bank account to this person give the other-
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what would happen if you died, would they extradite your body?
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well, i've never had this conversation with my mom, because this would be a pleasant conversation to have with her-
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i don't know. i would think they would probably want to bury me in michigan.
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die very soon or are you just being prepared?
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play this back and we were like, "remember, didn't jordan say that he had a will?" you died of cancer at this point.
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no, the second that i hear jordan has died, i'm going on-
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my pictures. and then you spell out an old pager code, naked women-
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i killed myself by breathing in carbon monoxide from the oven, that way-
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did you hear that a lady that survived-
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what was it? she survived a-
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well. yeah. i don't really have that big of a group of-
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friends. i'm usually doing nothing around this time on saturday night.
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i've kind of wondered that. like, if there would be any kind of... if anybody would care about me enough to have some kind of like-
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service or something here, i don't really know how that would be handled.
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well, same way obviously. my family would come-
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and then, you've asked me this before and i said like, if someone died and then their family took them away-
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get like a giant pine box that said human remains on it. and that's-
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what was happening. like people were shipping bodies back to michigan.
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begin to have them buried.see now i'm just going to be freaked out thinking-
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on hospital, but i mean, they're... people are doing minor surgery on there and resuscitating people from heart attacks.
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i mean, like on average it ends up being like one or two people will die for a cruise-
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because a lot of people will go on a cruise ship to die. they're like... they know they're-
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yeah, sometimes. like at dinner, you'll have certain seat assignments and you'll have other people at the table, like you can bypass all that and go into restaurants and-
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and you only have to talk to them for like an hour as you're getting served. and then you leave-
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they will... they'll die on board and they'll just keep the body in like a morgue type area until like... sometimes when you've been working-
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as we're getting on, you'll see black body bags.
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so you're saying, jordan and ryan, that i'll have to-
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if you want to... if you want to spend all that money on lawyers and stuff as opposed to buying like a $400 plane ticket-
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support you.yeah. traditionally you just go to where the actual memorial or... slash funeral-
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oh, i know you can just fly the one in new jersey or in-
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michigan.or like i said, have the second one in california for the people who can't afford to-
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recently, the internet has found it that megan fox apparently has weird thumbs.
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but in elementary school... she wouldn't have because she was in elementary school, but-
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she's been in some stuff. everyone in high school wanted to... thought she was gorgeous, like drop dead gorgeous. like everyone in the world thinks about megan fox.
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real live reaction of jordan seeing the thumbs of megan fox.and this is not photoshopped.
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nobody thought she was hot? or if she was just like... eh. you know, then i would be like, she's a good looking girl. but the fact that everybody-
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if there's a woman sitting in front of me that's mildly attractive with her legs open saying, do me-
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yeah, i am hop. that's why i'm in holler. i'm like, just shut the fuck up. like, i don't want to hear you talk. i'm like-
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fantastic. that'll be the last word.
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so email in who you want to be the fifth guy.
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mean. we didn't do our big thanksgiving day. i mean, i can't even tell you how much research i put into that thanksgiving day pod-
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pilgrims and the indians.a lot of people have come up to me and asked.
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why the delay? the real reason is that this podcast put a huge strain-
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on the relationship of me and ryan [kane 00:03:46].
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and i was... look, i'm-
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i've not made it a secret that i think i carry the show and people have come up to me and said-that you are wrong.the same things. people-
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we hated each other. it's that our contract disputes were really-
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going into the friendship. the business side of it was hurting the personal side.
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denied several high profile-
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highly lucrative projects to be here to-
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i've looked for your replacement.
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you know, i've made... i've put out offers and offers and offers.
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it's not our decision to not do it.
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someone to come and save us.and in the beginning, when we talked about ways to improve the podcast-
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the first thing i put on the table is we need this guy. we have this guy and then we're-
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and marcus has expressed the most interest out of anybody to be on the podcast.
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who is marcus [jameson 00:05:02]?
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a special ed school.oh my god. so we-
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