| ==Phrack Inc.== |
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| Volume Two, Issue 13, Phile #4 of 10 |
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| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
| /|\ the Neon Fucken Knights /|\ |
| \|/ present with no alternative \|/ |
| /|\HOW TO BUILD A PAISLEY BOX! /|\ |
| \|/ by the fucked up Blade \|/ |
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| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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| All right, so i mfucken in 40 cols..what's it matter? i just |
| realized that many idoits out ther still dont know how to make one of |
| the greatest anarchiust tools ever, the Paisley Box. This little |
| beauty will do just about anuyt6hing ya want, including: |
| --Seize operator lines |
| --Remote control over all TSPS and TOPS consols |
| --All other box functions combind in oine, includin blue, beige, and |
| blotto |
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| so ya wanna know how to build this fucker and go out terrorizin ma |
| bell..well sit tight, we wont bother with any fucken diagrams cause |
| those are for dweebs (right necro? right!) here we go! |
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| first of all get about 20 lbs of quality drugs and 3 or 4 kegs. you |
| might |
| think that you need this for the contruction of the box but, you don't |
| you take it all yerself!! |
| this will mellow ya out enuf to follow our planz. lessee, oh yea |
| parts list: |
| --about 50 ffeet of copper wier, hopfully insulated |
| --an old (prefer touchton) phone that ya dont need no more |
| --a honda genorateer (don't pay for it, just card it. right necro? |
| right!) |
| --and one of the empty kegs that ya drank to put it all in. the |
| genarater will fit fine and the rest ya can attach to the outsid if |
| thats your fucken urge. |
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| now for tha actualy construciton details: |
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| oh shit, we forgot one fuckin thing. go to you local hadware stoer and |
| find the guy who owns it, get a gun and blow his fuckin head off (you |
| can card the gun two) this isn't for the box but, it fun and it will |
| make satan happy so yor box will work better. |
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| now with the empty keg and all the stuf we put up there ( i think |
| about 20 lins ofr so up )_ attach the genarater to all the other shit |
| however ya please, now get some nice paisley wallpaper from your mom |
| 9(steal it if she wants it still) and put it all on the oputsid of teh |
| keg. you now have a 100% genuine Neon Knights approvd Paisley Box! |
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| How touse: |
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| hook that son of a bithc up to yir modem (thats only if you got a 212 |
| cat. if you don't then you are an asshole anyway and the box will |
| blow you fucken house aprt but, satan will be happy.) |
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| now turn yer dam computer on, and when the prkmpt comes up( |
| hardwird into the box of cors! whatdday think we are, stupid? ) |
| type: 666 (space) SATAN RULES (space) MY SWEET SATAN! |
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| then the menu will coume up on you screen and it will say. |
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| 1) fuck the operator around |
| 2) take control of the pentagon |
| 3) imitatte boxes (blue, blotto) |
| 4) fuck-a-geek |
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| choose whatever ya want, except if ya get tired of it and want to |
| trash th thing type 666 for a choice. the box will sef destructt, yer |
| computer will explod, anmd in its trahsing death throes speak an |
| chant taht will summon satan to take you away to the depths of |
| HELL!!! |
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| use this masterpece proerly, and remember: NO FUCKEN LOSERS! |
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| `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`' |
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| Call these genocidal systemz: |
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| The Gatest of Hell 555-51325-634637-3 |
| 1200 ONLY DAMMIT! |
| Mephisto's Suicidal Nightmare 2436-234-666 (of course!) |
| 1200 ONLY DAMMIT! |
| The Dead Fuckers Realm 2436-99-2309 |
| 300 only for now (dammit!) |
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| sorry for the sloppy look compared to our usual k00l neat files, but my |
| computer got confiscate d by the fucke n pigs so i have to |
| telerwit this fucker usin a dumb terminal, until i card another! |
| should be within the week! |
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| but don't forget to call the rad Metal AE |
| 201-879-[666]8 9600 baud only (god fuckin dammit) 4 drives with 710 |
| megs soon (we promise this time). |
| Kneon Nights "We're Rad, we kill children!!" |
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| end of file |
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| i said end of file dammit! |
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| what are you still fucken readin for? hit escape you stupid |
| shithead! |
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| if you dont fucken hit escape i will call satan on you!!! |
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| fuck the dead! |
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| *** |
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| *********** |
| *********** |
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| *** |
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| Oral roberts is the anti-christ!!! |
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| oh and remember: this has been a fucken parody from thomas fucken |
| covenant and double fucken helix. Call Thieve's World, the last |
| bastion of free thought: 616-344-2718. |
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| "Whaddya mean I don't believe in God? ... I talk to him every day!" |
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